Why I am happy to oogle at girls :)

Reading OG’s and Vimmu’s post on switcheroo and sex changes and chatting with Badz about itΒ , just reminded me of how much men freak out when asked about other men πŸ™‚

Have you noticed how, when a woman passes by, both men and women look at her ? Men check out her attributes πŸ™‚ and women check out her clothes and accessories πŸ™‚ I remember, once when Husband and I were walking down a street and were passed by 2 girls – both of whom apparently checked me out – much to the consternation of my husband πŸ™‚ He could not figure out, why ,on earth, do women check out other women , when men will be scandalised when asked about another man? I do think that he was more offended that he was ignored – how could they ignore him ???

Look at how easily women( Solilo, Mandira, Monika,..)Β have blogged about women they could like – if they were men πŸ™‚ And look at the men! they need to talk about sex change operations to be able to talk about other men πŸ™‚ Not that I am complaining – I am having a ball of a time reading all you crazy guys – but seriously – why?

Well, when I look at women, I look at their clothes, accessories πŸ™‚ – more from a purely fashion point of view πŸ™‚ I don’t see many men doing that, do you? And I don’t for a minute feel ashamed of it either πŸ™‚ I am sure many men would die before admitting to it!

So is it something in their ‘mental makeup’Β  or is it social conditioning? Is it because it is not considered ‘manly’ enough? I remember, when we were younger boys used to hang out with their hands around each others shoulders.. As we grew up and got more worldly – that was a complete ‘no no’! We were told that in an orientation class when we first started work.. Men were warned to resist from holding hands and walking around with their hands on each others shoulders especially when abroad πŸ™‚

So have the men’s inhibitions beenΒ growing as the women get more adventurous ? Or are we now social conditioned not just by Indian standards but also by Western standards? Come on , you guys, please tell me – I really want to know!!


Edited to add:


97 thoughts on “Why I am happy to oogle at girls :)

  1. LoL! I totally agree with you that women find can admire and compliment other women whereas men cannot. And if they do, the are considered to be gay. I guess it’s to do with the norms of society and what is acceptable and what is not.

    Yes, I agree.. It is definitely due to what is deemed ‘acceptable’ by society.. And this thing about being considered ‘gay’ – sad, isn’t it – that it has such a negative connotation to it..

    I mean women are “allowed” to greet each other with hugs and sometimes kisses on cheeks. Whereas men only have contact with each other but shaking hands.

    Yes, men having physical contact with each other is limited to the Football field πŸ™‚

    BUT honestly speaking, I think this should change. I think men should be allowed to greet each other with hug (more in the west because some do in the east) and not be considered as being “homosexual.”

    I also believe men should be allowed to compliment each other more openly.

    I think it is changing – though slowly πŸ™‚ I think the metrosexual is more open.. though they are judged by society – look at poor SRK 😦

  2. To be frank , when ever i come across a gal worth looking,i will check out her smile and eyes πŸ˜› …… and at U’r question , why men can’t compliment other men.Because our social atmosphere brought us up in that way. .But I guess situations are changing among our generation now a days.We used compliment each other about our hair style ,looks,accessories,so called ‘six packs ‘ etc.and also we used discuss about Katrina kaif and at the same time we admire john Abraham’s style sense also πŸ˜› …hope i didn’t confuse U?

    Anish – I have no doubts that you guys would all check out the women πŸ™‚ So you guys are all metrosexual, are you πŸ™‚ Good going πŸ™‚

    @ I don’t see many me…when ever i plan to buy something for my sister,i used to check out the fashion,accessories of many girls from roadside,office,shopping malls to my church πŸ˜› , But rest of the time i’m least bothered abt that πŸ™‚ ……..

    You do? I am impressed!!! Wow! Even in church! Now thats naughty πŸ™‚

    • yeah going gud πŸ™‚ .
      I feel, before i was not a nice brother,So i’m trying to compensate that now a days πŸ™‚ .
      @ church….I’m not ashamed of that lol πŸ™‚ …nyways i used ogle πŸ˜› at them only after service (mass)only πŸ™‚ …so guess no probs ..After all i guess, those places are the best place to get nice friends πŸ˜› .

      πŸ˜† So its okay if its ‘after service’ :lol:!!! Make sure your church folks don’t get to hear of this πŸ™‚

      • Hahahha :)…hmm well as far as my intention is gud…guess they don’t have any issue in that ..lol πŸ˜› ……

        πŸ˜† Ya, ya, good intentions πŸ™‚

  3. Thats because we dont care about the package! We are worried only about the content πŸ˜€

    Ya, Ya, we sure know all about that πŸ™‚

    Jokes apart, for me to have a fascination for a girl, she has to have a nice smile, a good attitude and a wonderful sense of humor. That rules out in me the normal tendency of guys to admire some-random-girl-on-the-street. I am not being decent here, Im being honest. The girl and I need to speak, for me to actually look at her.

    Ok, that is different πŸ™‚ I have not heard that from many men πŸ™‚ Or are you pretending to be a nice boy – now that you are in the marriage market πŸ˜‰

  4. How true…Though here in the Muslim countries, men greet each other by touching cheeks and sometimes with their noses…it looks yukky! See, even I have the prejudice, so it is all the social set up I guess!But on the other hand, there are a lot of gays too here though everything is behind curtains nothing in the open as it is still taboo in Islam!

    Yes, Sindhu, we certainly seem to be prejudiced 😦 And sure there must be a lot of gays – underground…thanks to the social conditions..

  5. Well said smitha.If men hug men our society calls him SRK πŸ˜‰ (i hope no one is behind me with a stick).
    I know ! What to do – no wonder the men are scared! So sad na – being called SRK is considered to be an insult!

    In arab countries men and women greet each other by shaking hands and by touching cheeks as if they are kissing.I saw a m-law doing to her s-inlaw.I was shocked,in our society i dont think any m-law dares to give handshake to her s-inlaw.

    Yes, the customs are so different, aren’t they? Something that is so integral to them is shocking to us !

  6. hmmmm,
    interesting….. πŸ˜›
    seriously, I make it a point never to hold hands with guys….. πŸ˜› LOL…. or check out guys…. well the truth is that I have been brought up that way…. πŸ˜› and I hate it if somebody teases me about it as well πŸ˜› (read this certain bloggers) πŸ˜› πŸ˜›
    πŸ˜† Dhamkis also? OG is changing! or was it Solilo’s machine’s work?

    but yeah, in india,we do walk around with arms on shoulders……
    never in america πŸ˜›

    πŸ˜† We were actually told this in orientation πŸ™‚
    I would not have much idea about women checking out women….. πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›
    so cannot comment on that

    Ya, Ya, I believe you too!! After all you lost points in your driving test coz you did not ‘scan the road’ enough πŸ˜†

    • Women checking out on other women. Hmmm… where have I heard that before??? Oh yes, Solilo, Indyeah and their renowned Dostani !! πŸ˜€

      We women do not need the excuse of ‘dostana’ to check each other out!!! We are quite ok with it πŸ™‚ Atleast I am πŸ™‚ How else will I know how not to buy that latest skirt from next coz every second person has it?

      • LOL!!!!!! aliya vimmuuu, dont tease them too much, otherwise they will gang up and make fun of you till you get tired of it….

        The evil axis of woman power…….. πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

        πŸ˜† Atleast there is one nice kid who accepts the ‘evil axis of woman power’ πŸ˜‰ After all we do outnumber you in our blog samaj πŸ™‚ We can get all our leaders and generals in place in minutes πŸ™‚

    • LOL!!!!no Mam, in that regards, I am always in scanning mode πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›
      eyes never seem to tire…..

      ha ha ! The truth at last πŸ™‚ ‘always in scanning mode’ – now that I can believe πŸ™‚

      • always in scanning mode?

        what were you doing checking out Vadivelu and others ? πŸ˜†

        PS:- but seriously before any brickbats come my way πŸ˜€ you guys (Vimmuu,you and Dhiren) did an awesome job with your tags too
        I have not laughed so much in ages πŸ˜€

        • hmm…I usually notice what my friends wear but we guys are more of gadget freaks mobiles , cams etc ….any way guys too scan/notice coz when ever I wear sleeveless they keep commenting on me showing my arms and arm pits etc …

          Is it? I am yet to come across men like that πŸ™‚ Guess the younger men are more ‘metrosexual’ πŸ™‚

          And i did read in a book on evolution that both men and women look/scan/notice women and that is the reason why female models are used..

          Yes, Have read that too .. And makes sense too..

          Among men even today it is about power , popularity etc but among women it is more about being the most attractive..

          Well, I do think that women think about power too.. Not just about being attractive.. And looking attractive can also be enpowering.

          So basically that is the way we are ..and it is not that guys don’t hold hands , we do when we arm wrestle …
          πŸ˜† Yes, arm wrestling indeed!! πŸ˜†

          Welcome here!

  7. oh fun post smitha

    but tell me what fashion will men look at each other for? i mean ok may be a nice shirt but there too the choice is so little

    I know!! So true! Poor guys, can’t blame them I guess, what can they look at πŸ˜†

    when we females look at other females like u said have so much to notice right from the hair to the shoes…. clothes, jewelery, shoes, makeup

    Absolutely πŸ™‚ Now I feel sorry for these guys – they know not what they are missing πŸ™‚

  8. Nice post Smitha! I enjoyed reading it and the comments too! I agree with you 100%!

    Where are the others, Indyeah and solilo to make it more interesting….!

    The comments are such fun, aren’t they πŸ™‚ Waiting for them πŸ™‚ They are probably busy πŸ™‚

  9. A laughable post Smitha… πŸ™‚ anyway what the guys have to see at other guy… anything?

    That is also true πŸ™‚ Poor you guys πŸ™‚

  10. Smitha I agree completely with your views πŸ™‚

    I have seen that it is extremely uncomfortable for guys to show their affection for even their own brothers/father/friends or any other man in their life..

    Yes, it is so much a part of their personalities, isn’t it? Men don’t cry, they don’t show emotions.. They are almost being discriminated with all these expectations that are foisted on them..

    Physical affection which would include hugging or holding hands is taboo to them…and so is saying anything remotely affectionate….

    Yes, Absolutely!

    to be absolutely honest this is how they have been..and I think it is a mindset that will take a lot of time to change…

    and even the most liberal guys have trouble doing all the things you mentioned(which I also agree with)
    Yes, it will take time.. but I do hope things change.. I am sure it will be nicer for everybody that way:)

    toh this whole crush list is totally beyond them πŸ˜€
    and yes they do resort to humour to make their points πŸ˜€
    (which you noticed so brilliantly)
    I know – they did so very brilliantly, didn’t they πŸ™‚

    Also fellas…. Kislay is the ONLY one who has done this very seriously and very nicely πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    Kislay is the only one who played fair πŸ™‚ BIG cheer for Kislay πŸ™‚

  11. @Vimmuu,OG,Dhiren :-Which is not to say that yours was not good..it was brillaint in its humour but not the original switcheroo at all πŸ˜›

    Yes, yes I agree! Vimmuuu, OG, Dhiren – yours were great! Where we have gone for such wonderful humour – if it had not been for you guys!! Even if you did make fun of SRK!

    • Thank you πŸ™‚ Got bored of the old one.. I wanted to do something more creative – then decided to go with this for now πŸ™‚ Until such time that I can experiment more πŸ™‚

  12. having said what you said ..men have a camaraderie, but women seldom do .. i am talking about places of work. they back each other up when times are tough but what percentage of women would display this behavior —

    • Anrosh, That is true as well… When times are tough they certainly back each other up… Does it have to do with the fact that in most work places men outnumber women? Do you think it would be better where women are more in number? Do you think that would make a difference?

  13. There’s this theory one of my male friends told me:
    “All women are supposedly born bi-sexual.” And society is conditioned that way too. Wait, wait… let me explain!!!

    It doesn’t mean I want to jump into bed with the next attractive woman I see…
    What he meant was, women showing affection to women or checking them out is supposedly an inherent tendency… and is actually considered normal… as opposed to men doing the same with men. Think about it. Makes sense in a twisted way, doesn it? Especially after reading the post and the related comments here… I’m definitely starting to understand the sentiment behind it! πŸ˜›

    You know what, Ashwathy, I think your friend has analysed it very well! It makes so much sense!!

  14. Men are insecure unlike us women. We have no problem letting our emotion and talking about our girlfriends. Men are scared to get branded as gays. They have a phobia. πŸ˜€

    Oh yes, Sols, They are absolutely paranoid! They do have a phobia πŸ™‚

    Whoever says anything about SRK is going straight to Timbaktu. 😑

    Ob absolutely πŸ™‚

  15. I can’t believe I’m so late in commenting here as well 😦
    Oh you are very busy, aren’t you? No friday evening post either – I love your friday evening posts πŸ™‚

    Lovely header!

    Thank you πŸ™‚
    The post, I agree with what you say! and no comments on the whole SRK arguments!!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    πŸ˜† Pixie is being very diplomatic here πŸ™‚

    • As in, you agree, right ??? C’mon, its time we accepted the fact and stopped worrying about losing friendship with SRK ‘lovers’ !!! πŸ˜€

      Hey Vimmuuu – Stop instigating people!!! And stop campaigning against SRK ! You could be sued πŸ™‚

      • ok, me no SRK fan as such… πŸ˜›
        But, I do admire his business acumen! and I enjoy some of his movies like…

        *walks out to the room trying to come up with a movie name!*

        I don’t think he is great actor – I just find him cute πŸ™‚ And yes, I think he has got a very sharp mind!

        Been busy with work 😦
        Can’t believe I let myself get overloaded so badly!

        I used to do that too! All the time.. I never had a day on bench or in an easy project, you know πŸ™‚

  16. Pingback: Best Blog Posts from Indian Blogosphere: Spicy Saturday Picks

  17. Hello Ma’am

    Congratulations! Your post has been selected by BlogAdda as one of the top posts for this week’s ‘Spicy Saturday Picks’.

    Do mail me so that we can send you something to add to your Awards list πŸ™‚

    Oh Thank you so much!! I am absolutely flattered to say the least πŸ™‚

  18. Congrats!! Blogadda coming our blog samaj way yet again!!! yay!!
    Thanks Winnie!!!!! – I noticed it first thing this morning and have been up in the clouds since πŸ™‚

    P.S: I have noticed that guys have a hard time accepting “gays” .. yesterday for a conversation… I asked my friend to name 5 guys and you know what ? he was like I can never ever think about guys.. am secure in my manhood to swing.. I was like what the heck! We end up arguing bitterly πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    I know!! It happens all the time! I think they are too insecure to be able to even think of other guys πŸ™‚ And it is also the negative connotations that society associates with 2 guys being close.. you know. Not the macho kind of close – but the touchy feely kind πŸ™‚ – which is totally accepted for women πŸ™‚

    Anyhow.. he is not the first guy that way!! must be psychology! Men are programmed to fight over other men and prove that they are “alpha” so there always is competition.. but females never had this issue.. they got the right to pick n choose ( ideally ofcourse!!!) so they dont mind appreciating other females..

    Oh it is so so common! Yes, I can even look appreciatively at a girl and say – oh she has a figure I could die for! Ask a man and he’ll go crazy πŸ™‚

    Or may be.. like freud says (or someone else) Male assert their maleness as “not female” .. we girls have it easy .. we never go through the “gender identity” phase.. so well pick your choice!

    Yes, we never assert out ‘femaleness’ do we? Funny that! And again ‘maleness’ has ‘strength’ associated with it and being a ‘female’ has ‘weakness’ associated with it , at least traditionally, doesn’t it?

  19. You knw,Smitha,here in the middle east men do greet each other by hugging and a peck at each other’s cheeks!

    Funny, no, how customs are so diverse.. And something that is so ingrained in them – is so difficult to accept for us πŸ™‚

    Great to see you back Deeps!!!! Been missing you!

  20. not only i enjoyed your post, but the comments too… and i agree with vimal!! :twisted”

    Welcome here, Sakhi! I love your short stories.. Havenot been able to read your last two yet πŸ™‚ The comments are far better a lot more fun than my post πŸ™‚

    btw, i stumbled here though his blog πŸ™‚

    I have Vimal to be thankful to, then, I guess πŸ™‚

  21. I thought it was elementary. Men check out women for obvious reasons and women check out other women as competitors dressing up to attract males! Does that sound sexist? I thought that is basis of the whole fashion business etc.

    Well, a little sexist πŸ™‚ We don’t dress up to attract men, you know πŸ™‚ We dress up coz we enjoy it πŸ™‚ And as we seem to have established, women notice what other women wear – far more than any man could πŸ™‚

  22. Came here thru blogaddas spicy picks.Enjoyed the post as well as the comments.

    Welcome here, Sree πŸ™‚

    I think, even if some men in their boyish days be touchy n emotional with their boy friends,they tend to work hard to get out of such display as they grow older,matured.I also think,the need to be held,hugged etc is less in men than in women.hmm.I’m gonna think and observe more on this subject πŸ™‚

    You are right.. I think they are ‘trained’ to not show emotions, be ‘strong’ and everything else associated with being ‘manly’! So they out grow out of being demonstrative as they grow older..

  23. though I have said it I will say it again!CONGRATULATIONS on being selected for Blogadda!!!! πŸ˜€

    Thank you so much!! I do think there you guys have so many posts so much better than this one! I just don’t deserve it as much ! But yes, it still makes me very happy πŸ™‚ materialistic me πŸ™‚

  24. Congrats on making it to the Spicy Saturday Picks! Very interesting post. πŸ™‚ I must say men hugging is not frowned upon that much in India. Look at all the hugging they do at the drop of a hat in the movies. Really too much of yaraana and dosti and there they go hug hug hug…!!! Lol. sometimes makes me wonder!! Hehehe…

    Oh yeah – that is true πŸ™‚ But only in the movies I guess πŸ™‚

    And this is something that I have pointed out to my husband years back, men look at women and women also are more interested in checking out women, what they are wearing, how they look etc. Poor men, nobody really ogles at them except in the Axe ad and those hair gel ads!! πŸ˜› And if you try telling your partner about some guy you have checked out, his looks or the suit he is wearing, all you get in reply would be either a stony silence or a bewildered look. Talk about insecurity! :-))))) πŸ˜›
    Signing off
    A lone Venusian living in a Martian household.

    πŸ˜† ‘A lone Venusian living in a Martian household.’ – that was PRICELESS!!! loved that πŸ™‚
    ‘ Poor men, nobody really ogles at them except in the Axe ad and those hair gel ads!!’ – So true πŸ™‚ Poor guys πŸ™‚ No wonder they are this insecure πŸ™‚

  25. Oh I check out women all right. And women have checked me out. It is a women thing. Men will not check out other men till their manhood is threatened or by some fancy gadget the dude is carrying.
    Fun Post and you have some really funny blogworld friends.

    lol!! I totally agree – ‘their manhood is threatened or by some fancy gadget the dude is carrying’ πŸ™‚

    And yes, I do have some really funny blogworld friends πŸ™‚ Thats the reason I love blogging so much πŸ™‚

  26. When I first read this tag on Solilo’s blog, I knew that no guy will take it up. It was impossible. We have this social conditioning. Its difficult for guys. πŸ™‚

    Amit, the guys did do it πŸ™‚ Did you not see Vimmuuu’s and OG’s posts πŸ™‚ They finally did do it:) Really fun posts

  27. Good one Smitha.
    Have been late in reading all these posts of yours. what you wrote is completely true. Going through the comments section was more fun..
    Yes, the comments are so much more fun, aren’t they?

    BTW..ur new header looks too good
    “Your post has been selected by BlogAdda as one of the top posts for this week’s β€˜Spicy Saturday Picks’.Congratulations Smitha..
    Thanks Mystery πŸ™‚

  28. “when we were younger boys used to hang out with their hands around each others shoulders..”
    U knw I’ve thought abt this in the same way many time….I do feel sad for tht loss of innocence.

    Yes, me too..

    Congrats on making it to Blog Adda SSP’s πŸ˜€

    Thank you so much Nancy πŸ™‚

  29. I can walk holding my sis’s hand, but I would definitely have a problem if hubby did so with his bro (not that either ever would…..they’re too “macho” for that :D). I can’t explain this, its just something in how we’re conditioned.

    Exactly! I think they must have held hands when they were younger, but slowly it became inappropriate..

    And yes, I too check out other women when I’m out…..there’s a constant commentary going on in my head, snap judgements on attire, accessories and the overall effect…..its a girl thing πŸ˜€

    Oh me too πŸ™‚

  30. Hey Smitha,

    Read all the comments and you truly deserve to be at BlogAdda’s Spicy Saturdays. “So have the men’s inhibitions been growing as the women get more adventurous ? Or are we now social conditioned not just by Indian standards but also by Western standards?”. This question needed to be answered and glad that you are getting the answers πŸ™‚ .

    Thank you , Harish πŸ™‚

    @winnie Jab tak aap zabardast post likhte rahenge, hum aapke samaj main aate rahenge πŸ™‚ Dhanyawaad .

  31. Pingback: Playing Favourites | Any Excuse to Write…

So, what do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s