Soaps and real life – is there any real difference?

This post has been selected for BlogAdda’s Tangy Tuesday Picks! Thank you so much, Blogadda, and IHM for tipping 🙂 Delighted and honored!

We had been channel surfing the other day when we came across  a serial on Star Plus. It was just something we had switched on and we were not sure of the background, but they were showing a woman who was being ill-treated(mental abuse of sorts) by her in-laws. She appealed to her mother to let her come back home, the mother tells her that her place is at her in-laws place and not at her mother’s and that is where she should stay.

That I guess, is just what can be expected out of soaps in one of India’s most regressive channels. It shocked me far more, when I heard somebody I know here, talking about how her husband was the cherished offspring of his parents, as he is the only son. He does have sisters, mind you, but sisters is not the same, is it? . And now that they have a son, the grandson, the son’s son, was the most cherished grandson. All this was said with a sense of pride. What shocked me even more was this person was an well-educated, well-traveled person and yet, is so calm(and even a little proud)  in the acceptance of the importance of her son and husband by virtue of their gender.

It made me wonder if she would have been just as easily accepting if she had a daughter? Or is the conditioning so strong that she would not even have thought anything wrong if her daughter was not the ‘cherished grandchild’ of her grandparents – after all, as a girl, what more could she expect? It also made me wonder if the woman also felt that her position in her in-laws place was enhanced because she was the wife of the cherished son and the mother of the cherished grandson.

In another conversation, another well educated woman told me how sons of NRIs seem to be less spoilt – but the daughters all seem to turn out spoilt. She was very convinced about this. When asked why – she said that most boys brought up abroad seem to be fine with an arranged marriage with an Indian girl but the girls all seem to vehemently oppose the idea of an arranged marriage with a man from India. I was so stunned at this reasoning that for a minute I was not sure if she was serious! Of course, a man will be more acceptable to get married to an Indian girl. For them, an Indian girl would signify somebody more ‘traditional’ and more likely to ‘adjust’ – while for women – it would the exact opposite, wouldn’t it? They would be more likely to lose the freedom that they grew up in – so obviously, they would object. What stunned me was that people actually judged like this.

With well-educated parents thinking this way – is it a wonder that regressive soaps rule on our small screens?

Why I am happy to oogle at girls :)

Reading OG’s and Vimmu’s post on switcheroo and sex changes and chatting with Badz about it , just reminded me of how much men freak out when asked about other men 🙂

Have you noticed how, when a woman passes by, both men and women look at her ? Men check out her attributes 🙂 and women check out her clothes and accessories 🙂 I remember, once when Husband and I were walking down a street and were passed by 2 girls – both of whom apparently checked me out – much to the consternation of my husband 🙂 He could not figure out, why ,on earth, do women check out other women , when men will be scandalised when asked about another man? I do think that he was more offended that he was ignored – how could they ignore him ???

Look at how easily women( Solilo, Mandira, Monika,..) have blogged about women they could like – if they were men 🙂 And look at the men! they need to talk about sex change operations to be able to talk about other men 🙂 Not that I am complaining – I am having a ball of a time reading all you crazy guys – but seriously – why?

Well, when I look at women, I look at their clothes, accessories 🙂 – more from a purely fashion point of view 🙂 I don’t see many men doing that, do you? And I don’t for a minute feel ashamed of it either 🙂 I am sure many men would die before admitting to it!

So is it something in their ‘mental makeup’  or is it social conditioning? Is it because it is not considered ‘manly’ enough? I remember, when we were younger boys used to hang out with their hands around each others shoulders.. As we grew up and got more worldly – that was a complete ‘no no’! We were told that in an orientation class when we first started work.. Men were warned to resist from holding hands and walking around with their hands on each others shoulders especially when abroad 🙂

So have the men’s inhibitions been growing as the women get more adventurous ? Or are we now social conditioned not just by Indian standards but also by Western standards? Come on , you guys, please tell me – I really want to know!!


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