Very few amongst us would have been unaffected by the Delhi Gangrape, and eventually the death of the brave young woman, who tried so hard to stay alive.
Some like Hitchy, have written posts, straight from their hearts, and make me feel so hopeful, that things can’t possibly not improve when people think like this. It gives me so much hope.
The last couple of weeks, I have been travelling, and interestingly, came across so many subtle indicators of how the society thinks. Things which, at an earlier point in time, I would have just not noticed or would have ignored. This time, I reacted slightly differently to some of them.
– People who try to walk a little too close to you in an effort to get to touch. I was lucky it was in an airport, not in a shady road, so I just stood still and stared right back until he was forced to move away.
– People who refuse to reply to a question asked by a woman, would instead reply to her husband. Almost as if they could not stand the fact that a woman dared to talk when her husband was with her. I could actually feel their antagonism towards me.
– People who still believed that women had no business being outside their homes after dark.
– People who believe that without a man in their lives, women are totally, completely helpless.
The one thing that I did notice that most people did shy away from openly blaming the victim. I guess the massive outrage has, in some ways, if not completely changed the way people think, has made them rethink, just a wee bit. Of course, we will still have our share of painted-dented and India-Bharat quotes, but then, not everything can change in a jiffy, can it? Then again, had women been a vote bank for our politicians, I can’t help feel that things would indeed, change in a jiffy. Of course, a lot of the measures might just have been token measures but still, they might be slightly more sensitive.
India has a strange way of making one feel optimistic and pessimistic at the same time. And in a lot of ways, it feels like we are part of a massive change which will make history – fingers crossed.
Any Excuse to Write... 
Last night I was in station and bbc news at 10 comes, and in that they were covering this episode and it was a shameful moment for me , I who always speaks so highly of my nation in front of all my friends. they all know how i am eager to go back.. they looked at me and asked what is going on .. and I did not have any word or anything i could say ..
and then a minister comes and says something about wearing of skirts ..
I had a post written in my drafts but I have not posted because it is as usual a direct question to the people , rather than the rapists.. how many were they 4 and how many were their who probably saw the girl and the boy laying on the road .. more than 4 .. its easier to find the face of a rapists but how do we find those faces that are hidden amongst all of us , the ones who done say anything and just want ot watch .. but when a group is formed they cling ot that group so people can see their face .. yet the yare the first ones to run away ..
Totally agree that if it was VOTE bank things would have bee ncompletely different for sure ..
I do hope and wish things change , I know in my heart and I pray to god always that he gives me the strength that if i see anything wrong happening at least I have the guts to speak up ..
One thing Bikram I would like to point out that Britain has a worse rape rate than India… you can refer wiki here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_statistics it also has the worst rape conviction rate : http://www.nus.org.uk/en/campaigns/womens/britain-has-worst-rape-conviction-rate-/
the rapists dont represent India…
This is not a national problem but a gender problem…
The social stigma in our country needs to change, surely… but hey its not a time to compare countries…
Rape is not just an Indian problem… it is an evil that exists in all societies of this world..
I don’t agree. Perhaps Britain has more ‘reported rapes’ because people are not afraid of ‘social stigma’. I refuse to believe that India has fewer rapes than Britain. Who are we kidding??
Pallavi I am talking about Rape Rate…. not that India has fewer rapes.
Rapes per 100,000 people.
Hope you now understand.. I m not kidding the figures are from wiki…
Regardless of the figures also this is not a country comparison tool… this is a gender issue… don’t associate national pride to this issue…
Seriously its the amount of outrage that has stopped people from blaming the victim… still sometimes I see people trying to bring stories like the girl and guy were kissing in the bus and that is why they were dealt with etc etc… there are all sorts… thankfully the reaction has made a lot of people say things that are politically correct although they might think otherwise.. Guess the conditioning is quite deep rooted and every person how commits this heinous crime must be punished severely and an example must be set out of them… or else the conditioning that is there will not change…
About India… well… There is no doubt in my mind that there is rage among people today… Apart from this social/criminal issue of rape.. I think of people coming to streets without any political party dragging them… it is quite apparent how they are starting to get really agitated and slowly but surely not taking things lying down… its been slowly progressing towards more and more anger I feel… it was there after 26/11, then for a fleeting moment Anna Hazare seemed to have created an uprising, now these massive protests in Delhi after the Gangrape…. somehow the current generation seems like they have had it… at some points on that Saturday in Delhi I was kind of worried if all hell was to break lose… no politician would have dared to come to address the crowd… wonder if anyone could actually pacify the people…
Atleast I feel India is changing… time will tell though..
People who refuse to reply to a question asked by a woman, would instead reply to her husband— This is what happens here too smitha…i was asked when your husband will be home we will talk to him when i repeatedly told them to talk to me…They were Indians….They think husband controls the thoughts and feelings of his wife….Wife can’t think or has any feelings,emotions etc…..Then my husband told them that he is not aware and very reluctantly they spoke to me.
With regards to votes even women votes are influenced by husband and sons..I remember my uncles used to tell their sisters to vote for whom…maybe this is one of a case but the sisters are adults and can make their own choices.
People who believe that without a man in their lives, women are totally, completely helpless.—-Even women thinks so smitha…when a man is their in women lives he will control her….as if she is not human….
Its quite sad how they put you down, just because you are a woman…
I am glad you stood by your stand and made them talk to you !!!
Its time to change and I hope that there is some change somewhere, in the streets of India, in the attitude of Indian men, in the respect given to the Indian women !!! I pray for a better tomorrow !!!
As hitchy mentions, rape is not an Indian problem. Attitude towards the rape victim is also sadly universal. Only, attitude towards women is a tad better in developed countries, at least the US. I too have been ignored by people who direct questions to the husband; its a disgusting behaviour!!
And in a lot of ways, it feels like we are part of a massive change which will make history – fingers crossed. – Amen to that!
My friend was telling how his village, and most of the surrounding region, is crime-free in spite of there being no law enforcement anywhere in sight. I was raised in urban India and was totally surprised that there are parts of India that can proudly say that.
Since I see a a deluge of despair all round, I wanted to share something positive that I heard. Because, ultimately, progress can be made not from complaining and helplessness, but such slivers of positivity and how they manage to exist in these times. Not to trivialize the role of strict law enforcement and community watch.
This attitude of men towards women is so sickening! The more you read about the crimes that are now being reported in the newspapers, the more you see the politicians talk utter nonsense about women, it fills you with anger and rage! What society are we living in!?! Just hope that the movement that has started brings about the much needed change in the mindsets, laws, society…
all I can say is ‘fingers crossed and hoping for a better India this year’
Yes, we are in the middle of a change but it would be slow. There are no quick fixes but it would happen eventually.