A rant – Learning/teaching techniques

And the school related problems begin. We had a good run so far.

Daughter managed fine to catch up on the portions that she missed out on – she joined 2 months after schools here started. Hindi was the only thing in which she was clueless. Since Grade 1 is the beginning of Hindi, that looked manageable too. I spoke to the teachers, and everything looked under control. Notice the past tense? Well, we got a note saying that they have a test, and we had three days to prepare. Three days to prepare, no notebook/textbook, and a child who seems clueless.

I’m a hair-breadth away from going crazy. They keep the notebooks at school, so there is no or little work being sent back home. Which is fine, provided all the learning is taken care of, at school. The problem happens when you realize that the portions that the children are expected to know, they don’t actually know. Then the onus falls on the parent to ensure that the child knows what she is supposed to know. We had no trouble in the other subjects. They were stuff she had done already in her previous school, and stuff which she could make sense once she read it. But Hindi is a completely different ball game. Initially, when they had to catch up with the others, they used to bring home the notebooks, but soon that stopped, so we had little idea of what was going on in class, only to find out that there was a whole load of stuff that she has no clue about. When they brought the books home, I would go through the letters with her, but when we don’t have the notebook, it gets difficult to try and go through the lessons with her. At best, we could try and teach her in our own way – but what if it conflicts with what the teacher is teaching. As I said, it’s been a bit crazy.

The only saving grace is that I am in touch with another mum whose child joined at the same time, and both these children seem to be in the same position. So we are not all alone, we have company. I’ve got just today to try and get her co-relate the sounds and the letters. Sigh! I’m not too fussed about her not doing well in a test, but what worries me is if she gets demoralized in case she doesn’t fare well. So I’ve got to try and keep her morale up, while getting her up-to-speed. Wish us luck!

As my friend was saying, it seems so unfair that English, we spend 2 years understanding the sounds, learning the alphabets, and for Hindi, which seems far more complicated, it is such a sudden and quick jump. Is it because they assume that everybody is a native Hindi speaker and can easily grasp the language? I remember finding Hindi very tough, even though technically both English and Hindi were foreign languages for me – at the starting point.

ok, I’m done, just needed to get that out of my system!

Just something I needed to get off my chest..

*Just a rant – please free to ignore*

What do you do when you have to deal with totally opportunistic people?

People who only call you for dinner because they need to ask a favour of you?

People who expect you to be their personal driver – just because you have a car?

People who will won’t even listen to a ‘no’. How do you deal with people like this?

I have had some bad experiences with people who just leech on to you, and refuse to let go. People who want others to do the fetching and carrying for them – on a regular basis.

The only thing I have learnt to do is avoid. I steer clear, as much as possible, but sometimes it gets tough, especially in a small place, where you do run into people. I am so petrified of these people, that I worry that even a ‘Hi’ might end up with doing things for them. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any problems with helping out people, but sometimes, it gets a bit much, especially when it is all one way traffic. Or sometimes when they try to do ‘favours’ for you – which you don’t need, and don’t want, just because they need to feel good for themselves for taking your help. Those ‘favours’ that they do for me, is plain torture – but no matter how you try, you can’t wriggle out of it – mainly because they refuse to listen to you..

Most of us friends, pitch in whenever needed, help out in whatever way we can.. but nobody tries to use another person – which is what makes that difference. One-off favours are one thing, but if it becomes a regular thing, it gets annoying to say the least. And the problem is when people start expecting things – as if they have the right to.. I mean, even close friends would not assume rights(in your house, of your time) in the way some of these people do..

Today, something made me think of all this, and I realized that my life is so much easier after I steered clear of people like this.. I feel tension free and comfortable. I don’t need to make my plans based on other people’s schedules.. And I don’t feel used. Now, I also feel that I will be a little more wary of people..

Looking back, I just feel glad that I got out of that situation before it made me totally miserable. Glad that today, I still help out people – but have learnt enough to not get taken advantage of..

Women, be warned!

It is depressing to read the news these days. So now that women have been told to not be out after 8 pm, in Gurgaon. What next?

Cover every inch of skin between 8 am and 8 pm to be safe? Or better still, how about women just stay indoors – that should be a foolproof way!

The whole attitude of the establishment is astounding, to say the least. They are responsible for the safety of the country’s citizens, and no, asking people to stay indoors is not ensuring safety. Why do we need police if this is the solution that the government comes up with? Oh I forgot, all that our governments are good at, is moral policing, and preventing freedom of speech. After all when so much time and energy is lost in figuring out if women wearing Western clothes are distracting, or in figuring out which politician was insulted in FB or twitter, who has the time to worry about people getting raped. Not the police for sure!

After all, it is the victim’s fault for being at that place, at the wrong time, and who knows, her visible ankle must have been too much for a man(or a bunch of men) to resist! Or worse still, she works late, now that is unpardonable, she needs to learn a lesson. Police? Well, what can they do, it was after 8:00 pm, you see.

And of course, all crime will stop the moment women disappear from the streets. So all us women, should remember not to be around after 8, who knows who might get tempted by our mere presence. We shouldn’t make the police and the establishment’s job harder than it is.

Deadliest place for a girl

So India is officially the deadliest place in the world for a girl child. Apparently

Newly released data shows that an Indian girl child aged 1-5 years is 75% more likely to die than an Indian boy, making this the worst gender differential in child mortality for any country in the world

And I am sure most of us are not even surprised. Of course not, it would have been more surprising had it not been the deadliest place in the world! After all, don’t all know people who say,

- Don’t worry, next time, it will be a boy

- If the first born is a boy, then it is a huge relief

- My first is a boy, so I am comfortable in this pregnancy

- We want a three child family. (This statement when they are told that they are expecting a second daughter. Funnily, when the child was born, and it turned out to be a boy, they were immediately happy with two!)

- You have a girl? And you don’t want to have another child? Don’t you have pressure from your in-laws to have a boy?

And all this from professionals, people who are educated, well-traveled, and who you would think would know better! And all this from people my age. Not age old aunties or older people set in their ways, but young people, who have had the benefit of education, and awareness, who have no real excuse for thinking this way! Despite the circumstances, the preference for a male child remains strong across classes. When we have such negativity, it is not difficult to understand why the girl child’s mortality rate is higher than a male child’s in India, despite the fact that biological factors actually favor the girl child.

Is it any surprise that India is a country where we would do anything to not have a girl?

People! Post 30

*Just a rant*

Some people just rub me the wrong way..

- People who talk only about how great they are, their children are, their spouses are..how good they are at their jobs..

- People who are so incredibly selfish, that they can walk over everybody – effortlessly

- People who bully and try to take advantage of people in a less comfortable situation.

- People who refuse to discipline their children

- People who gossip about people who are supposed to be their closest friends

And I can ignore most of these aspects when they have other redeeming qualities,  but I am at my wits end when I come across with one person with all these qualities, and when I don’t have the option of totally avoiding them!

The Tragedy of a Working Woman turned SAHM

- Some of the currently working women almost look down on you because they feel that you have

  • Wasted your education
  • Lost your independence
  • Wonder if you don’t feel trapped into not going back to work
  • Wonder how your child would feel later about your quitting work

- Some of the SAHM* from the beginning types

  • Applaud you on your ‘sacrifice’
  • Look for ways to tell you how you don’t match up, because obviously, this is not your forte

Either way, we are doomed :( Why, I wonder? Is it so necessary to judge? After all, all of us do things/make decisions that work for us as a family. What might work for me, might not work for you. We all make choices that make sense to us.  Life after all is not a mold into which all us fit perfectly, is it?

*SAHM – Stay at home mother