I don’t want my child to be obedient

Yesterday, somebody called Poohi ‘obedient’ and for some reason, I was more irritated than pleased.

Both husband and I am not too fond of the word ‘obedient’ in connection to children. It gives us the wrong vibes. As if children are supposed to ‘obey’ without reason, the basic premise that a parent has the right to direct a child and the child who is good – obeys – irrespective of whether the parents are right or wrong.

I guess, I prefer the word, well behaved.  That indicates, to me, a child who knows how to conduct herself. Obedient, to me, in my prejudiced mind, indicates ‘blind acceptance’. I am sure a lot of you would disagree with me here.. but for some reason, that is what the word ‘obedient’ conjures up in my mind.

What we want for our daughter is to become

someone who listens, and then decides to listen to reason, rather than just orders.

someone who understands enough to differentiate between right and wrong  and choosing right- even if it means going against the flow, at times.

a confident but not an arrogant person.

someone who will know that she can tell her parents when they are wrong – surely parents are not super humans and despite having the best of interests in mind, we could still be wrong in many many ways.

someone who has the courage to stand up against injustice.

someone who respects others  – not just elders, respects others,  irrespective of age.

someone who can question…

.. and I hope, that we are mature enough to handle her questions (and her criticism ) and guide her forward, the right way.