Life Lessons

Life has a funny way of throwing things back in your face.

Remember how I was telling you how I was lucky in the domestic help department? Well, I spoke too soon.

She had been nice, helpful, well-mannered, and apart from a few instances of not turning up on time, she was fine.

She asked me for an advance, and I readily gave her because it was for her child’s education. Soon after I gave her the advance, we discovered money missing. Discussing with others, we realized that she probably had a tendency of taking things. I decided to keep a watch and be extra careful, when my friend who employed her lost some gold. But that could not be proven either because my friend had terminated her and had employed a new help. She had strong reasons to suspect the older help, but it still was just a suspicion.

The final straw was when I caught her with her hands inside my wardrobe, which had my purse in it. Thankfully I caught her before she appropriated something.

I’ve let her go, but its sad to have your trust betrayed. Even more so when I’ve always treated her well, with respect, given her whatever she wants, shared the food I made. Despite all that I’ve given her, she still chose to steal. It breaks my heart, and possibly makes me a little more wary now.

40 thoughts on “Life Lessons

  1. stuff like this irritates me the most. whilst on one side we aim to treat everyone equal, lobby for better work treatment for maids etc incidents like these serve as a slap. we had a maid of 5 years who started stealing coins kept in puja, silver earrings carelessly placed, tiny puja articles. my mom went crazy and sacked her and it ended up as a huge mess.

    Be glad she is gone. Good riddance!

  2. Oh dear Smitha….most of the times its this kind of heart-breaking incidents in India. Its very very rare to find someone whom you can totally trust. But you should be glad that she is gone now…
    I think we should take time to trust the house-helps – they are quite smart to act honest and get away with things.
    Hugs dear !

  3. Hugs! I can feel how hurt you are feeling. I would have felt the same too, in your circumstances.

    This is very sad. It is sad that she chose to steal instead of asking you for money, especially when you have always given her food, money and whatever she wanted, and treated her with respect.

    One person like this is enough to make us wary of the entire clan – and that is so very sad, for there might be many respectable and honest ones in the clan! 😦

    • True, one person is enough to make you wary. Infact, I wonder if some genuine person will lose out just because I have lost my trust. Hopefully not, but it will take some time before I can completely tryst again.

  4. Sigh!!! When I say that “maids as a breed are not trustworthy” I feel bad but I mean it. Now there wud be instances like that RM’s moms maids where they have been very good but the instacnes are far n few.

    That seems to be true – and that makes it worse. I feel bad having to look at people with distrustful eyes, you know..

    I have seen so many people going thru what u have…you trust these people and want to help them but they are never greatful about it. Have so many stories to prove it!!!

    I can imagine.. Just asking around here has had people telling us stories of how many lakhs have been stolen by maids…

  5. Hmm this annoys me so much.. we trust and it gets broken without a though.. aaaaaaaaaaaaa…

    And it’s not just in domestic help but otherwise too.. I had sponsored a person won’t take a name.. he stayed in my house for monthsssss.. and when he was leaving he did something like that..

    Don’t know what to say.. sometimes you just can’t win.. you try to help and you get taken for a Muppet..

    Don’t worry smitha take care.. glad you got rid of her.. tell others too..

    How is the little one.. love to her..

    • That is so sad, Bikram. Sponsoring a person is such a huge thing, and he does something like this. Heart breaking… Makes you wonder about if we are the stupid, naive people to still trust others, no?

      She is fine, touchwood:)

  6. What a co-incidence that this should happen in your house. My grandmom’s household saw the same scene play last week. That too they recruited a girl who studies 7th std because her mother in unwell and her father is a drunkard so that girl has to work. They didn’t give her much work though and would help her with her school books, dresses etc. I also kept tabs to see that the girl is helped in every way possible for a better future. But last week, my cousin caughter her with her hand inside my aunts cupboard, where she kept her jewels. That too she had the gall to get the key and open the lock. I am yet to hear about honest and good hearted house helps.

  7. Oh! That’s so sad and stealing is terrible! But most of them are like that!! Whatever you do for them is immaterial!
    I have given Rs 5000 to my maid last month, she told a sad story and said she has to go to her village to do the needful and would return after Diwali! Husband was laughing at me and told me that this was the last time I was seeing her… but I trust her. Though Diwali has passed, and her phone is switched off, I am hoping that she comes back and doesnt breaks my trust! 😐

    That seems to be true, Shilpa 😦 I hope your maid does not break your trust..

  8. It’s terrible isn’t it? Just when you think all is hunky dory…. something comes along to upset everything! 😦 Makes you realise nothing can be taken for granted…

  9. Hugs!! I hope you get someone good soon!
    My first maid used to steal spoons and small utensils from the kitchen! heh!!
    My maid before coming to US was amazing! (touchwood!) she was clean, neat and did an amazing job!

    • I had two rather trustable maids when I was living here earlier. I was plain lucky, I think. This time too, I would have thought so, until all this happened.. Now I know better. Hoping, hoping for trustable one next time round.

  10. Hugs, I know the feeling too well. I feel lucky enough to have someone who is almost a part of family, but then she has been having some personal issues and the ones that come in the intervals have managed to raise my BP to astronomical heights!!!

    You are lucky that she is such a part of your family – I dream of finding someone like that – eventually. As for personal problems, somebody here was mentioning, that it seems almost inevitable that all the good/dependable help seem to have the most horrible life at home.. Seems to be true in your help’s case as well.

    Yes, it is a relief to do things by yourself, after sometime it gets tough though, at least for me 😦

    Oh it does! I can’t go on doing this forever. It plays havoc with my schedule.. I would love it if I can find someone trustworthy.

  11. That really sucks! It’s hard when you trust people and treat them as equals, they go and stab you in the back. And doing so, make you wary of everyone else in the process… Hugs Smitha. And hope the next maid is trustworthy.

    • Exactly, PB! I’ve been told that they work better at places where they are not treated so well.. Apparently they start taking people like us for granted.. Not sure how true that is, though.. Fingers crossed on the next maid. Hugs!!

  12. It is sad, but quite common looks like. Just last week my neighbor caught the maid with stolen bananas…It is a habit, to get that one extra thing, in spite of all the other perks. Wishing you a better maid next time.

  13. It’s so sad that they don’t realize that they would benefit so much by not giving in to temptation. She must be needy but what’s the point now since she is now out of two jobs?! Hope you get a better one now!!

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