Just something I needed to get off my chest..

*Just a rant – please free to ignore*

What do you do when you have to deal with totally opportunistic people?

People who only call you for dinner because they need to ask a favour of you?

People who expect you to be their personal driver – just because you have a car?

People who will won’t even listen to a ‘no’. How do you deal with people like this?

I have had some bad experiences with people who just leech on to you, and refuse to let go. People who want others to do the fetching and carrying for them – on a regular basis.

The only thing I have learnt to do is avoid. I steer clear, as much as possible, but sometimes it gets tough, especially in a small place, where you do run into people. I am so petrified of these people, that I worry that even a ‘Hi’ might end up with doing things for them. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any problems with helping out people, but sometimes, it gets a bit much, especially when it is all one way traffic. Or sometimes when they try to do ‘favours’ for you – which you don’t need, and don’t want, just because they need to feel good for themselves for taking your help. Those ‘favours’ that they do for me, is plain torture – but no matter how you try, you can’t wriggle out of it – mainly because they refuse to listen to you..

Most of us friends, pitch in whenever needed, help out in whatever way we can.. but nobody tries to use another person – which is what makes that difference.Β One-off favours are one thing, but if it becomes a regular thing, it gets annoying to say the least. And the problem is when people start expecting things – as if they have the right to.. I mean, even close friends would not assume rights(in your house, of your time) in the way some of these people do..

Today, something made me think of all this, and I realized that my life is so much easier after I steered clear of people like this.. I feel tension free and comfortable. I don’t need to make my plans based on other people’s schedules.. And I don’t feel used. Now, I also feel that I will be a little more wary of people..

Looking back, I just feel glad that I got out of that situation before it made me totally miserable. Glad that today, I still help out people – but have learnt enough to not get taken advantage of..

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25 thoughts on “Just something I needed to get off my chest..

  1. Hugs, Smits and I hear you! Can understand how bothering it can be when people take you for granted. I am glad you have steered clear of such people..thats the way to go. Sometimes you do need to make it clear to them that you dont want to be taken advantage of, you need to draw that line. I am happy that you did just that and am sure you’re feeling lighter and much better.

    You take care, loads of love to you πŸ™‚

  2. Been there, done that too. At some point, you have just got to say that you’ve had enough and a firm ‘no’. Otherwise you keep making yourself miserable.

    Anyways, good that you have found the way out, and are feeling better now. πŸ™‚ Hugs!

  3. I’m one of those unfortunate people who have a hard time saying no. so I guess I’m sufferring the misery you escaped.

  4. Me too.. I find it tough to say no.. sometimes you can’t say No without being rude and you end up doing things for people you don’t even like… while fuming all the time. What a thing you brought up Smitha.

  5. I insult such people by ignoring them. And I let them know in clear terms that I am doing it. That takes care of them for a while because these people are oblivious to any kind of logic and reason. Don’t worry, it’s a tough world for the opportunists as well. When, after a while, they discover that no one is helping them, the agony that they go through is indescribable.

    Destination Infinity

  6. Smi, learn to say NO. That’s the only advice I can give. I’ve repeatedly put myself in situations where I help out keeping my personal chores aside only to regret later. No more. Our time is valuable and those who can’t respect that should take a hike.

    Hugs.

  7. Can totally understand you. Although, I’m terrible at dealing with such people myself, being born with the inability to say no. Better to avoid, that’s what I do mostly.

  8. Oh, I missed this post, Smitha. Sorry to hear that, but the fact is there are loads of such specimens around. I don’t encourage them at all, to the point of being rude. But wth, they get what they deserve!! While it is good to be nice, we should also use our discretion and not feel ‘guilty’ about it.

  9. I can relate with you..I am the victim of this opportunistic species whole my life,in different forms,off lately it’s my hubby’s relatives started taking advantage,…I can’t do anything but rant about it 😦

  10. Managing expectations from random people is difficult! Saying ‘No’ is not easy for me, but I hope people get the hint when I don’t respond enthusiastically. Because when I am forced to do favors, then I don’t always do it with good grace πŸ™‚

  11. yes ‘asking’ for help is totally different from ‘using’ the help ! Such people do exist and are very smart…they know how to use other’s resources effortlessly!

    Hugs to you,good that you are out of it ! Stay out πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  12. I went through a miserable time too until the husband who doesn’t speak much gave me a valuable piece of advice. He said “this is not the age where you make and keep friends for the sake of numbers, but you make few reliable friends who thinks like you, with whom you can hold a conversation without hurting each other and who will be there for you no matter what” πŸ™‚ πŸ˜› and for the first time I did listen to him and am pretty happy with the small set of friends I adore and have a gala time with.

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