I’m a horrible mum…

.. because I try to think for my daughter sometimes, forgetting that she has a perfectly funcitonal mind of her own.

She came home the other day with her ‘learning log’. They had a topic pasted on it, and the children were supposed to work on it, and return it after a couple of weeks. I went on the internet, to get an idea of what needs to be done(the school had recommended a couple of sites to refer to), to get an idea about what needs to be done.

So here I was, bursting with ideas, waiting to tell her what to do when, she grabs her learning log, and says, ‘This is what I want to do’, and goes on to write/draw so well, that I was astounded. The topic was the five senses, and she started off, drawing little pictures and writing all about the senses, without a backward glance.

She did make spelling mistakes with the more complex words, but what amazed me was that she knew what she wanted to do. She was clear on the way she wanted her project to look. Here I was, waiting to guide her, tell her what needed to do, only to realize that children know far more than we expect. And when given free reign, might come up with something not very polished, but far, far more creative.

I just hope she gets the same environment where she gets to express herself, without worrying about the nitty-gritty. And I hope to remember this, and encourage her to continue to express herself beautifully.

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24 thoughts on “I’m a horrible mum…

  1. Good luck, Smitha! Sometimes the children become our teacher!

    Absolutely! I certainly learnt something today!

    My whole family loved when I told them that Poohi skipped all the way to her school! God bless her!

    Thank you, Sandhya πŸ™‚

  2. Poohi is darling,very well done kutty.Super tight hugs to her……

    Smitha kids should be given to think rather then we spoon feed them.All the credit goes to school and the teacher.Maybe the teacher told her what to do and take the help of the parent.

    I know! And am so glad that she resists my efforts to spoon-feed her too! That would have stifled her creativity.

    Sometimes i too under estimate my kids and when i see the drawing or the writing i am stunned..

    I can imagine. I assume that she wouldn’t know how to do some things, only to realize that she has some great ideas of her own!

  3. Hmm she is a smart girl .. and you guys are doing a great job , thats one good thing of studying here abraod as I know both in india and here this is the biggest difference here ew get to do what we want to and how we want to .. the inner self comes out back home it was more of being told what to do How to do .. big difference ..

    ANd yes leave her alone she will do great πŸ™‚ god bless

  4. You realised it in time. And your enthusiasm is admirable. You’ll do fine πŸ™‚

    Yeah, just in time πŸ™‚ And my enthusiasm? See, this is what comes from being jobless πŸ˜‰

  5. Wow! isnt Poohi the clever one…why are you a horrible mom? infact if I was in your place I would be preening…see see my child…I brought her up to be independent…* i know, I am cheap that ways*

    hugs to her and how about posting some pics about the work she has done if you dont mind?
    *Yaa I am cheap that ways also..I will just copy that for R when she has to do it ;)*

  6. Thanks for that post. Brought home an important lesson. Sometimes I’m trying to tell the kids how to do something – a drawing or a play doh structure and they just don’t want me to and that makes me so frustrated,, it’s like “I can show you how to do it much better” but for them it’s important that “I did it all on my own”. You’re a smart mum.. you learnt to let go.. the toughest mum-lesson ever.

  7. well soon there will be a time when your daughter will think for you, and you both will complain about it πŸ™‚

    that happens in rambler household all the time, me trying to think for my dad, and my dad trying to think for me πŸ˜€

  8. Guess your L’lle girl has grown up :)\

    But it is amazing no? I mean with L’lle one I think just a year back he had to be carried around everywhere and now when he has started walking he refuses any kind of support that is offered to him, he just pushes away our hands….
    And you are not a horrible Mom!!! It is just that we don’t realise and these tiny tots grow up πŸ™‚

  9. I’m so happy to see Kunju so sure of herself and developing a mind of her own. And I can so very well understand how proud and happy it must have made you, Smits. Hugs to both of you!

    I’m sure Kunju is going to be blessed with such wonderful environment all through her life. Dont you worry πŸ™‚ God bless her! Ummas to her πŸ™‚

  10. How nice…. wow!!! This is amazing to be able to implement her ideas, he vision! Kudos to you for giving her the confidence of not second guessing herself!

  11. How very sweet! You are right, sometimes in our rush to help our kids, we really do not allow their creativity to take flight. A great lesson to all us parents.

  12. Errr.. wait. how does any of this make u a horrible mum?!
    you are the greatest! She is clear in her thinking and she did a great job on her project… all this is because of you!
    hugs Smithus!

  13. No you are not a horrible mum. And you know that! I have high regard for you as a parent πŸ™‚ I am glad you realised your flaw and let her be πŸ™‚

  14. You are not a horrible mum. You are just a mum. πŸ™‚ Mum’s tend to guide/think and do for their kids. Its natural. Of course, once a mum realises her kiddo is capable of much more than she had previously assumed, its a good idea to give her a free hand and I am sure you will do just that after this incident.:)

    That line about kids coming up with something not very polished, but far, far more creative is so very true.

  15. You guys are all good for my ego πŸ™‚ But seriously, sometimes, I really feel that I should let her go, although all my instincts say otherwise πŸ™‚

  16. Pingback: Playing Favourites | Any Excuse to Write…

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