Just so that I don’t regret it.. Post 19

.. people try to convince me to have a second child – just so that we don’t ‘regret it later’.

As I mentioned yesterday, there is a baby boom around here – second babies all of them.

The brunt of the baby boom is borne by one child parents like me, who are advised by all and sundry on how it is essential to have another child. I am all for people having their second, third, fourth, whatever’th’ child, as far as they treat it as their private business and not as a license to ‘guide’ other people.

I find it extremely annoying to have to tell people again and again that we are happy being a 3 people family. For us, daughter is all we need. And both of us are absolutely sure.Yes, we have discussed it extensively, and feel that this is perfect for us. At the moment of course, who knows what is going to change tomorrow? Can we be sure we will not regret it – who knows! Can you imagine the outcry if I ask these people who decide to have 2(or more) children the same question – ‘What if you regret later’? Why assume that the people who decide to have one or no children haven’t thought out their decision? Why assume that total outsiders would know what works for us as a family? Yes, some might be friends, but even friends(and family) are not the ones who can decide on a couple’s behalf.

A child should be brought into this world only if a couple want it – not because it is ‘the expected thing’, or ‘2 children families are the best’ or ‘4 children are the best’ or even worse, ‘as a back-up’ – whatever that means! To each their own.

Just as I don’t try to promote a 1 child family, why can’t they, the more than one child families, keep their opinions/advice to themselves? Especially when nobody asked them for it?

Edited to add: Some more reasons why people should have the second baby 

– Starry’s contribution – ‘Company for the first child’

– Something that I had forgotten to include in the post(this is what happens when I type out a post in 5 mins). Now that you are a ‘housewife’, why can’t you have another child? Housewife/homemaker equals breeding machine?

– Baby to keep me busy now that daughter is at school – I must look incredibly jobless if people have to come up with that 😦

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24 thoughts on “Just so that I don’t regret it.. Post 19

  1. I agree. I’m tired of random people suggesting you “get married”, “have a child”, “have a second child”, “keep trying till you have a son”, “send son to ___ class”, “feed kids ____”, marry kids to good families from the community.

    I know! Other people’s lives seem to be everybody else’s concern!
    The list of requests (demands) never stop.

    Welcome here Bridget Jones.

  2. Or the one that used to annoy me no end. “Company for the first child.” Aaaargh.
    Oh yes – that one!!! Aaargh!

    We were also satisfied for a while with one, and didn’t want ppl’s bleddy advice while we enjoyed being a 3-person family.

    I ticked them all off and told them to shut up, because I wanted it to be our decision. I let them all think we were going to stay at one child, and then we surprised (and disgusted) many of the busybodies by adopting. Hyuk, hyuk!
    ‘I ticked them all off and told them to shut up, because I wanted it to be our decision.’ I am sure you gave them a nasty shock 🙂 Good for you 🙂 Of course it has to be only your decision – nobody else can make such a decision for us, can they?

    Only children rock…just look at me! 😀
    They sure do 🙂 I will be sure to direct people at you who claim otherwise 🙂

  3. Hw I wish ppl understood they are nt asked for it!
    Know wat Smiths, ppl already ask us when we wud hv our second kid, since we are delaying the first one so much 😉 😉

  4. With all the ‘when are you getting married’ questions around me I have lost half my sanity. If/when I get married, with all the ‘when will you give us good news’ I think I will lose rest of my sanity. Looks like the questions don’t stop even after giving a good news 😐

    Say you did make another baby, what do you think will the question be then?

  5. and trhe ones who say its getting late get married .. and then have a baby and then have another one .. of if you have a girls first they go on and on about how a boy is needed
    and if a boy is there then a daughter is required ot complete a family … I understand

    Glad you do. I guess most of us go through this.

  6. I am sick and tired of this question, though its true that in own head I have reached a point where from totally sure about having one child I am confused but damn its our decision not their theirs and combine the fact that I am soon turning 35 people are eating my head off

  7. Sweetheart, tell me about it. People love advising.. they absolutely love it. if u r single then they ask u to get married, if u r married they ask u to have children, and if if have 1 child they ask u to have another one..

    • I read your ‘son anyone’ post, will check out the other one. Seriously, people behave as if we are some sort of dysfunctional family, just because we are a family of 3!

  8. totally agree – it’s you guys who decide …
    everyone seems bothered about others’ lives!! Here too, I get the “speech” to have kids soon!! else how I will regret having them so late in life!! 🙄

  9. :).. would have faced the same situation if son had not managed to appear on the scene accidently…

    It is up to the parents to decide….

  10. The reasons made me laugh….but they arent valid enough for every person….neither can be justified for having a second child.

    All the world does is poke its nose into every person’s affairs….

  11. Why do people make it their point to keep drilling into others’ private business? In fact, you should let them know that since they have so much time to think about others… shouldn’t they use this time better by adding more children in their own family 😛

  12. when i had booboo only, people used to ask about the second child and i used to tell very firmly that i dont want another, the reaction was never pleasant, as if i am denying them their basic rights or something. now since i have a girl and a boy, everyone tells me what a perfect family i have. as much as i love having two kids and a boy and girl on top of that, what annoys me is who decided that this is what a perfect family should look like? what about families with no kids, dont they have a good family? what about parents with one child or two daughters or two sons? where is it written that a perfect family should have a boy and a girl…

    • I know! Whoever decided that ‘so and so’ makes a perfect family? After all every family is different, who is to decide that one is better than the other. And how can someone else decide that for us, is what I get riles at.

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