I have been reading a book, nothing remarkable, quite boring to be honest, but something mentioned in it, had me thinking.
An unwanted child. I wonder how it feels to be an unwanted child? I wonder how a child who gets to know at a an early age, that she/he was not planned, not wanted. He was a mistake. Can you imagine what it must do to their confidence. How would such a person face the world?
Most of us grow up in loving, caring and nurturing environments, with parents who care for us, who love us unconditionally. Reading about this girl, who grew up knowing that she was not wanted, was a poor substitute for a brother who died in infancy, ignored by her dad, ill-treated by her mother, broke my heart. It must be such a cross to bear. The knowledge that your own parents did not want you and do not care about you.
I know several people who have had an unplanned child, but most of them fall in love with the child as soon as she/he is born. How many people can resist an innocent, new-born, helpless baby? But what about those parents who are unmoved by the miracle of birth? Who are unmoved by the delicate child in their arms?
What I fail to understand is how, even if somebody is supremely unhappy about having a child, could they convey that unhappiness to the child? Don’t they realize that they are scarring the child for life? That the child will crave approval and might be unhappy all his life because he believes that he is unworthy of love.. The feeling of being ‘unwanted’ will probably stick with them all their life.
When I read of such things, all I wish is, that somebody would gather that child in their arms and tell them that they are precious. That they have nothing to be ashamed of, that they are not to blame..