My biggest blessing..

is my little girl..

My daughter gave husband and me a ‘gold star’ each. Mine was for cooking her breakfast, and his was for feeding her πŸ™‚

She gives us so much joy in so many ways, and these little gestures just make me want to gather her up and hug her for ever. We have so many dreams for her, biggest of which would be for her to have a happy fulfilling life, for her to be able to achieve everything that she sets out to do..

Would I have loved her more if she had been a boy? Does the gender make any difference for us parents? I would like to think not. Though, I always wanted a girl, I am sure that if we had a little boy, we would have taken equal joy in his antics, have the same aspirations for him, treat him just the same as we treat her. Why then, do we, as a society, set so much store by the gender of a child?

Though we worship the female form in the form of Durga, Lakshmi , Saraswati, we don’t think twice before aborting a female foetus..

Though we are claim to be more spiritual than the materialistic West, we pray for sons, for purely materialistic reasons..

Though, we are progressing in so many ways, we still have a heavily skewed gender ratio, with illegal gender determination clinics flourishing.

That people still assume that a having a daughter is a ‘sad event’ in one’s life.

Today, is supposed to be Daughter’s Day.Β  Apparently, sex selective abortions have resulted in ten million women being missing from the Indian population. Where sex determination is not possible, infanticide is practiced. And it is not the rural or poorer strata of society where the gender gap is growing – it is in the richer(and educated) classes that the gender gap is growing. So much for education and awareness.

All I want to hope is that a day will come when a daughter is not a curse, that people will not need to console parents who have daughters. A daughter will not be a liability- just a cherished child. When we just don’t pray to goddesses, but also treat women and girls with the dignity they deserve, not as unwanted members of the society.

A day will come, when son or daughter, we would be equally happy. Son, or daughter, will have the same opportunities. When girls will not be killed even before they are born. When daughter’s days will not be a reminder of how dire the situation of a girl child in India is.

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58 thoughts on “My biggest blessing..

  1. cho chweet she is a darling… u must be proud parents today with the gold stars πŸ™‚
    Oh yes, she got a strip of stickers yesterday, so we are all beneficiaries today πŸ™‚ I think she learnt this at the nursery πŸ™‚

    and i agree the day will come I think the situation is slowly improving

    Yes, I certainly hope so.. but when I read the news – it looks so sad.

  2. Happy Daughter’s day, Smitha! It IS changing, now. Now, the alarm bells have started ringing…girls’ ratio to boys’, is coming down. Future is going to be girls’.

    It is changing – but very slowly. Apparently it is not changing as much in richer areas 😦 Sad, isn’t it?

    Enjoy the present experience of your daughter. God bless her!
    We sure are πŸ™‚ She is our real blessing πŸ™‚

  3. Happy Daughter’s Day Smitha πŸ™‚

    We have so many dreams for her, biggest of which would be for her to have a happy fulfilling life, for her to be able to achieve everything that she sets out to do…

    Though, I always wanted a girl, I am sure that if we had a little boy, we would have taken equal joy in his antics, have the same aspirations for him, treat him just the same as we treat her. Why then, do we, as a society, set so much store by the gender of a child?
    Overwhelmingly beautiful post…Hugs to your biggest blessing, and to you!!

    Thank you, IHM! I just find it difficult that people treat their children differently just because of the gender 😦

  4. I can understand she giving a golden star to him for feeding her…

    but are you sure you got one too ??

    I mean its a blog… so whatever you say we gotta take it as the truth rite…. πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Yes, here in my blog, you have to assume that my version is the truth πŸ™‚

  5. Hugs to your daughter Smitha.. I am sure you both deserve all the gold stars….

    as for some of the daughters in our country, it is a big fight.. from the time they are conceived…..let us hope that our country wakes up in time..

    I know, and it is sad to see the state that girls in such societies are in.

  6. bless you all Smitha… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    she is a sweet lil kid πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ Hugs to her… πŸ™‚

    Thank you Kanagu! Hugs!

    and this post is nice…. and I think the things are improving and people have started to accept the girl child also,…. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ atleast in cities it’s not there, I guess…

    Things are changing.. slowly though. Sadky, from the figures, it is prevalent in the cities as well 😦

  7. God bless the happy family Smithu πŸ™‚

    Poohikutty is one li’l darling no πŸ™‚

    Gee I wanna earn one gold star too πŸ˜› What cn I do ask her no πŸ™‚

    Hugs to u for the lovely wishes u hv for her n extra hugs n muahhhhs to the li’l princess for what she is πŸ™‚

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  8. Heyy, happy daughters day to Poohi and to you too !!!

    btw, is there a sons day ??? No, huh? I knew it !!! Its us then, who fall under the minority group and you all demand for reservations !!! Hmmppphh !!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Actually, its a very sweet post, but people cant stand when I put a decent comment, (check solilos to know what happened). Please dont mind, huh? πŸ˜€

  9. Wonderful post smitha,show us the stars u both got.Hugs to chinna kutty (my both daughters always wants me to call them chinna kutty).

    If anyone ask kids what your mom does,first thing comes is cooking,for them mom=cooking ;).

    Would I have loved her more if she had been a boy? Does the gender make any difference for us parents? I would like to think not—– it does for many parents smitha,i grew up hearing that my dad always wanted a boy

    We both always wanted a girl and a boy and planned to adopt a girl child.but again i had a girl,but i dont have complains,whether a boy or a girl it is our own.My heart cries out when i read or listen about a girl been killed before she is born.They are many couples who do everything possible to have a child and there are couples who come all the way from london/US/Gulf to abort a girl child in india.

    The sex ratio in Chandigarh has increased from 845 girls to 882 girls per 1,000 boys in a recent survery conducted by the UT Health Department.And the good news it that this survey was carried out in slums of chandigarh.

  10. And I thought I was special coz. I was a boy 😦 Thanks for bursting my bubble πŸ™‚

    A Platinum Star to you from me πŸ™‚

  11. I’m still on a break,Smits..but couldnt resist myself from dropping a few words.
    Lots of ummas and hugs to Kunju for being such a darling. She is a blessing,Smitha..our children are our blessing,no doubt.They make our lives worthwhile.

    As for the disparity between a son & a daughter,lets hope together that a day will come when a daughter too is considered as much a boon as a son.

    On a lighter note though,you said “Though, I always wanted a girl, I am sure that if we had a little boy, we would have taken equal joy in his antics, have the same aspirations for him, treat him just the same as we treat her.”…well all I’ll say is,abhi bhi der nahi hui hai πŸ˜‰

  12. Happy Daughter’s Day Smithus! πŸ™‚
    Hugs!
    Yes, the gap is closing, and hopefully gender bias will soon dissolve as well!

    A hug to Poohi from me as well! πŸ™‚
    She is so sweet!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  13. Wonderful post, Smitha…I know how you feel – I too always wanted a daughter and I have one…

    Everything is about money – the world revolves around it…Girls are viewed to be a drain on a family’s financial resources and hence, the desire to have boys…

  14. Wonderful post. Hopefully both parents will get many more stars. Daughters are wonderful things. I grew up with sisters. I knew I wanted my first child to be a girl. I was so happy. Then my 2nd child was born and she was a girl. I was so happy, I had 2 girls, sisters who would be there in joy and sorrow, to fight and love.

    When I was preggo with my 3rd, I heard so many things, from whether we are going to abort if its a girl to what will we do if we have 3 girls. I was like no, I dont care. If its a boy good, if its girl, even better. We had a boy, I think my inlaws breathe a sigh of relief,although why I dont know.

    Then i got preggo with 4th, almost everyone we know told us we were insane when we had 2 girls and A BOY!. Like it was okay if it was 3 girls and to try or a boy. Its just made no sense to me. Again the whole what if its a girl, blah blah.My youngest is turning 3 in 2 weeks and yet I remember everything people said to me.

    I hope someday, the genders would not play a part in pregnancy.That each child would be welcomed with warm and open arms. that each child gets the same love, opportunities from the family and society in general. That women do not feel stressed out when they are preggo with the 2nd(or 3rd,4th) just because they already have a girl.

  15. What a thoughtful post smitha….Happy Daughters day to you and poohi…she is adorable…looks so touchy..she giving star to both of you…and btw ..wht she got in return πŸ™‚

    I always wanted a baby girl..and feel blessed and honoured when angel came into life….
    At hospital…when i heard the cry of baby…in that state also i asked nurse ..what it is…( obviously i was curious to know) and she was stammering and feeling hesistant in informing me that its a baby girl.. ihave to repeat my question 3 times and then finally got answer..we didnt check..let me go and check in baby’s room….Gosh can u beleive this that she doesnt know…….and then she came back after 5mins…and finally informed me

  16. Happy Daughters Day to u too!!! πŸ™‚

    and i repeat, poohi is lucky to have u 2 as parents!

    when indira gandhi was born, everyone was initially sad but nehru had the courage and confidence to say: she will do better than a thousand sons (or something to that effect). wish all parents wud say the same! look at how prophetic his words were! πŸ™‚

    my parents wished me on daughter’s day. mom arranged a li’l card, flowers and a new top for me! i was shocked actually. didnt expect it in the least!
    my face looked like this —-> :mrgreen:
    love being a daughter! πŸ™‚

  17. Sigh! A gold star for ur cooking and hubby’s feeding

    πŸ˜₯

    ASK HER NOT TO GROW UP TOO SOON OKIE??????

    I am yet to meet her and coup her up in my arms!!!!! πŸ™‚

    Yeah smithu…all that u wrote….. its so apt and beautifully put. We do say na we are less materialistic and more spiritual as a nation? I say PAH! We are anything but less materialistic 😐

    I had read about the girl infanticide practice in a remote village in Rajasthan, when I was in school..… it seems they wud celebrate if a boy was born, and mourn if a girl was born.. and the killing procedure was too depressing… I had tears just reading about it…

    A daughter will not be a liability- just a cherished child.
    Why, I know of cases where the daughter is the bread winner, if we were to talk to ppl of the mindset that they are liabilities, that is. U are right, about the gap existing in higher society too. So much for education! How truly said! There are still homes where the parents think, β€œoh, she will marry and go away, what’s the use?”

    Since when is a child born to be of β€œuse?” 😐

    When daughter’s days will not be a reminder of how dire the situation of a girl child in India is.

    AMEN smithu.

    And touchwood for mothers like urs and mine, who brought us up with whatever they could do in their reach to make sure we grew up knowing all this, did not let us be conditioned that β€œwe are daughters…we have limits” and kudos to u, for u will do the same and more for poohi.

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  18. What more will make a day than stars from your daughter, that is the greatest appreciation ever πŸ™‚

    You are so right about the gender prejudice. Even with lot of developments, that bias towards boy child still exists. A friend of mine had to have a medical abortion few years back and she was heartbroken to see a lady next to her aborting for the fourth time, because they were all girls and her husband did not want that. I am so glad to be born in this era to have had the opportunity to see the world. I hope our children have better times.

  19. Happy daughters day Smitha πŸ™‚
    “A day will come, when son or daughter, we would be equally happy. Son, or daughter, will have the same opportunities. When girls will not be killed even before they are born. When daughter’s days will not be a reminder of how dire the situation of a girl child in India is.” – Amen.

  20. Such a sweet, beautiful post, Smi!

    Poohi is a darling and so are you as her parents. I hope a day comes when every parent is proud of their daughter. For that to come, first we have to let go off the stereotypes and also the custom where a girl leaves her home to move to husband’s home. That one custom is the major reason behind female feticide because parents fear that their old age will be tough with female children around as they move away and only male child provides the security as he stays back. That one custom and of course all the evils of society like dowry which was endorsed to keep the other custom alive..is responsible for women’s plight in the society.

    May a day comes when people don’t see girls as someone who leaves house to serve others but as individuals just like boys who leave home to make their living. May the difference be there only in their physical appearance not functional.

    • Puja vachilla 😦 Poohi burst into tears that her precious books were being kept there 😦 I tried everything and then decided to let go and give it a shot next year. Just made her sit with me while I recited the shlokams.

      • Puja vechu- eduthu but Peanut continued her reading. πŸ™‚ That girl is not my child. 😑 She is reading with 1st graders in the school these days so she just finishes her books fast to excel in front of BIG kids. πŸ˜†

        πŸ˜† She is a sweetheart! Hugs and ummas to her! So she is competing with first graders! wow!

  21. Happy Daughters Day Smitha. love and hugs to your little one. the equation is slowly changing…..it’s better now than during our parents/grandparents time and it will be even better during our children / grand children time. views are slowly changing….and all we can do is influence and teach the generation to come the right message.

    congrats on those stars….the moments makes motherhood and fatherhood so worthwhile I’m sure πŸ™‚

  22. Awww,,Lovely post Smi. I can call you Smi, Right?

    These are such special moments, you will miss these when she will grow up. I always wanted a girl, but when Aayush and Anay came, it was like a blessing, now i don’t feel sad that i am missing something in my life. A baby is a gift from god and it doesn’t matter whether its a BOY or a GIRL. Let’s hope everyone understands this soon…

    Love.
    Nids

  23. Loooooove the gold star story.
    I prayed like I have never before when I was expecting the second time around for a daughter.
    I love my son and daughter equally BUT will share a lil secret here, at the risk of sounding biased…I think I am truly blessed and God did me a BIG favor by giving me a girl and not another boy (though would have loved him equally)
    I say Amen to your prayer….may better sense prevail and yes Vedic dharm has a term “Samyak tanoti” which means a good santaan boy or girl is the one who carries his parents dhyey/higher goals/ideals forward. This carrying forward of the legacy is NOT limited by ones gender.

  24. *Gold Starts* WOW! Isn’t she a sweetheart!
    Hmm, I didn’t know there was a ‘Daughter’s Day’, I need to tell my Dad about this. He owes me a gift! He reminds us( bro and I) every year of ‘Father’s Day’, so we don’t forget to wish him and maybe present him with something nice. Now its revenge time …Hehehe hawhawhaw (evil laughter :))

  25. πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    classic!!!!!!!! your daughter is the cutest, i tell ya!!!!!!!!!!!!

    but you know what, I cannot spend too much time with kids………… heheheheheheheeheh πŸ˜›

  26. I can’t belive those kinda aborsions happening in india still.These people should think for a moment, that there are lot of couples here who don’t have kids.Thank god i’m born in community , who treat girls kids so special.
    We have so many dreams for her …….. πŸ˜€ , it is same for most of the parents.There children are there world πŸ™‚
    between sweet post πŸ™‚

  27. and while i never wrote a sensible comment for this post… let me make up… !!

    Belated Happy Daughters day… !!!

    you are indeed blessed !!!!!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Touchwood !!

  28. Amen! To your wishes!!!

    I wasn’t aware that it was our day but my Mom called me to wish πŸ™‚

    I have been lucky as my parents have always treated me at par with my Bro! Let us just hope that all ppl realise & follow this…

  29. i m not aware either about such day! however do we need such days to be loved and to love?

    I agree! I do not celebrate any such day – got to know from an article in the news that it was daughters day πŸ™‚

    lovely post, son or daughter, just feel blessed πŸ™‚

    Exactly!

    my son gives us our star by saying “so you know, you took me to golfing today and thank you, i really enjoyed that!”

    Aww! That is so cute!

    Happy motherhood day, today and forever!
    Yes, every day is a day for motherhood, isn’t it?

  30. Your post reminds of something I heard recently: When a lady delivered a baby girl, the hospital staff were silent and wouldn’t even disclose the sex of the baby either to the mother or those of her relatives and friends waiting outside till they finally brought the child out to show them, after all formalities. The reason is, you guessed it, it had been a baby girl. They even went to the extent of saying, ‘Don’t worry, it is a girl’ with such solemn faces. A son was born to the same lady recently, after a gap of two years in the same hospital and as soon as the birth occurred, the nurses rushed out with smiling faces to inform those waiting outside about the ‘good’ news! In this case, the parents were not concerned about the gender at all. But the hospital staff acted quite weirdly.

    It is my belief that those who have daughters are blessed. Gender Inequality?? πŸ™‚ Oh yes, I believe daughters are more special than sons. πŸ˜‰

  31. Very good post, daughters are indeed special than sons. Recently I saw an abortion in 5th month because it was daughter!!!!!


    I find it appalling that it still happens 😦

  32. I too believe I am blessed-because of my daughters.

    The gender discrimination is really sad-wish these people knew what they missed. But then they really don’t deserve this special blessing.

    I agree! They certainly don’t deserve the blessing!

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