Will the twain ever meet?

What is it about men and shopping? I can never understand why my husband hates shopping with such a vengeance.

For me, retail therapy is one of the most relaxing and fun experiences. It rests – right on the top – right after a spa experience πŸ™‚ For my husband, it is probably as relaxing as getting his legs waxed πŸ˜‰

I can spend hours window shopping… I can even do that in grocery supermarkets.. I am known to stand and admire all the pretty cakes in the bakery section, while my husband mutters behind me,’ Just select whatever you like and let’s get going! People are going to think that you have never seen cakes before!’ Which is why, whenever I am shopping alone, I make it a point to go to the food hall in places like Marks and Spencer and drool away πŸ™‚ It used to me more fun in London – I used to love the Selfridges food hall.. Yummy yummy yummy looking food!Β  Now I make do with boring old M&S – but even that is better than nothing πŸ™‚

Shopping for me is pure bliss.. Looking at all the clothes on sale, trying on a few and then deciding not to pick it unless totally satisfied.. For husband it is more functional – enter a shop only if he has no other option. Buy new clothes only when he has run out of decent clothes to wear. Spend 2 seconds to decide and bill it – all done in under 10 minutes.. 10 minutes! Can you believe that? How can somebody do that! It’s just not done! He despairs when I reject clothes and move on to the next shop.. I am sure he sends up silent prayers that I get what I am looking for in the next shop.

There is so much to browse, after all, we should make an informed decision – so what if it is just a pair of skirt? Or jeans or accessories or shoes.. How can we decide without knowing what is on sale next door? By the end of a shopping trip – I glow with happiness and he is totally exhausted!

For him it is a list that can be reduced where possible.. For me, there is nothing like a list when it comes to shopping.. I believe in picking up if I like it – am sure we can find a use for it , for him it is, picking up only it we are in dire need of it.

A couple of weekends back, we went to York. It is a beautiful little town with a lot of historic places.. As it happens, it started raining when we reached there. So naturally, I suggested, why don’t we shop, it will be nice and dry inside a shop – only to get it back from husband – ‘We come all the way to York and all you can think of is shopping??’ Can you believe it? What’s wrong with shopping if it is raining outside? Surely it is better than getting wet in the rain?

The one place that makes him want to shop is when he sees some electronic shop. Once, I left him at a Bose shop and went about , did all my shopping(read browsing, trying on, rejecting/buying) in all possible shops only to find that husband was still engrossed in the magic of Bose.. Never seen him so excited in a shopping trip πŸ™‚

Next time, I want happy, fuss free shopping, with no questions like, ‘Aur bhi kuch lena hai kya?’ or ‘Aur kitna time lagega’ every 2 minutes( as if shopping is such a precise science that I should be able to predict!) , I am leaving my husband with the staff in the Bose outlet to ‘hubby-sit’ while I enjoy shopping to the fullest πŸ™‚

Or better still go shopping with a girl friend. So much better!

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72 thoughts on “Will the twain ever meet?

  1. I LOVE shopping. I mean which girl doesn’t. No one believes that at one time I hated it. I hated shopping, I hated jewelry. My husband says that when he met me I was this perfect woman…every man’s dream because I disliked all those stuff that men hate too. But then because of some weird virus I changed. πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

    Oh me too ! At one point the only shopping that interested me was going to a bookstore and buying books – but that was a long while ago πŸ™‚
    I hated jewellary with a vengeance πŸ™‚ And my poor husband has never even seen that me πŸ™‚ I got converted way before I met him πŸ™‚

    The truth is when he met me, I was really young and too much into books that I didn’t have interest in materialistic things. Later when I became free of that, I found time to shop. Also husbands side of girl cousins are an inspiration. When I go to India, it is just shopping and eating out and mostly with them cousins.
    Oh that is bliss! I love shopping in India – far far more than shopping here! It is so much fun!

    You are right. Shopping with girls and then eating out is so much fun. When we are in TVM, we raid Fab India, Mantra, Zenana, Ethnic weaves, Czarina and then go out for lunch. Guys love this because they gang up to do some guy stuff. Children are taken care by grand parents. πŸ˜€

    Perfect holiday! Seriously! I love those kind of days – no worries .. just pure fun πŸ™‚ I miss shopping in India so much! Once a year is just not enough!

    Here, I love shopping alone or with friends. But mostly alone. I love just getting lost in shoes and dresses. Did 2 weeks of Fall shopping. I need to sort it out. So much Brown shades. I love Fall clothing line.

    Wow! Brown shades! I still have my shopping left to be done.. I miss shopping in the US too! Just the other a friend and I were discussing how wonderful the US was for shopping! I miss it! Here it is a joke in comparison! The first time I came here – I almost fainted at the prices πŸ™‚ I have a lot of shopping to do.. hopefully tomorrow if the weather is good πŸ™‚

    What was the post about? Oh! yeah! husbands…Uff!

    Exactly my sentiments πŸ™‚

    • Guess soli summed up everything I wanted to say. πŸ˜‰
      Me too love to shop alone. Nothing like getting lost in the shopping world without any botheration. Especially the questions and suggestions. πŸ˜€

  2. this is something we can never understand…

    That is clear πŸ˜‰

    I mean when I go shopping I know I have to buy a checked shirt… or a black pant or a fala fala.. tshirt…

    i go to that section… see alternatives… select one and am out.. !!

    but wife.. I want to buy clothes…

    so i ask what clothes…

    not decided..

    I m like… western or indian…

    Arre, once she says Western – if she even looks at Indian, I am sure you will be like – but you said ‘Western’! So why commit – after all the best way to decide is after seeing what is available πŸ™‚
    dont know… lets see…

    i m like… how blank can you be…
    See – blank canvases make the most beautiful pictures πŸ˜‰

    its like she is going to a trekking trip… how does it matter what we see… wat we buy…

    its just important to keep surfing…

    Yes it is! Surfing – most important!
    !!!!!!!!

    You females… Uffff
    You makes! Uffffff!!!

    • Hitchy dont you ever try those clothes? I cannot understand for the life of me how a man can wear clothes that he ahsnt tried on before? how how?

      I know, Shilpa! we can’t even think of something like this πŸ™‚

      • well we do try trousers at times… if the waist fits… but whats there to try in shirts or t-shirts ??

        huh ??

        Of course we need to try on everything! How can be sure that it suits us otherwise πŸ™‚

          • we try things to see if they fit… not how theey look on us…

            we have superior imagination powers !!!!

            unlike you females… who need the mirror for every thing…

            We like to be totally sure before we decide to part with our money πŸ™‚

            • another thing i have noticed… especially in old type shops…

              after having seen 20 dresses… females can easily stand up and walk away… I dont like anything… I wont buy from this shop…

              Arre – why should we buy if we are not happy???
              I m compelled to buy something if i have made the sales man show me so many things…

              you females have no heart for the sales man either

              That is his job ! Come on!

              • Bahhh see that’s where the solution to all the problem lies…U give ur heart out to a salesman (well I am assuming you give urs to the saleswoman ;)) just bcoz the person shows you 20 dresses in 22 minutes and you have no heart to let the woman who sacrificed her entire life in ur sewa to do some shopping?????????????? Ufff Men!!!

                Hitchy that is why I suggested a group therapy for u in Swaram’s post!

                ‘ you have no heart to let the woman who sacrificed her entire life in ur sewa to do some shopping?’ – You said it, Saksh!!!!

  3. Ahh ahh ahh I love shopping too! And I like that idea of drop the husband at the electronics store before heading out! Creates lasting peace.

    I knew I would find others who agree with me πŸ™‚

  4. i hate shopping…i do :-(…i go shopping with a list of things i need, spend just enough time to get those and come back as soon as i can…i can’t, for some reason, spend time walking ard malls, window shopping or anything..it’s boring :-(…

    oh dear! you do? You will make some man very happy πŸ™‚

  5. um… i m not sure i m eligibile to comment for this one … heh.. i belong to the rare breed of females who are not really into shopping all that much. i m not a shopaholic… but when i do set out for shopping, i take time off for that only. so i guess u cud call me (im)balanced πŸ˜€

    Ash, you are still young – I have hope that you too will get converted πŸ™‚

    as for men…. they go the other extreme…. like take my dad for example. he’d walk into a shop, buy the first thing that pleases his eye, and walk out within 5 minutes. my bro is nearly the same. my uncle, however, is every woman’s dream come true. he takes his time selecting his stuff, buys for his wife as well (considerate man, i tell u) and then takes them back home for her approval. and no he is not really henpecked or anything… he has a taste for clothes and he takes his time selecting them. amen! πŸ˜€

    Wow! Your uncle is so sweet! wish every man was like that πŸ™‚ I have male friends like that too πŸ™‚ I just wish they were here to give me company πŸ™‚

  6. lol, I can see where your husband is coming from…I can relate fully with him..hehehee πŸ™‚

    Curious word there, retail therapy! Perhaps it is why your husband thinks he doesn’t need that.. err, the therapy.

    See, it just goes on to prove that men don’t have good taste πŸ˜‰ How can people not like retail therapy πŸ˜‰

  7. u got it in the end.. shopping is an activity best done with other girlfriends.. after all, photographers hang out together, foodies “do” restaurants together, so why not “shoppers” and “window shoppers”?

    I totally agree! Makes life so much easier πŸ™‚ Welcome here, How so we know πŸ™‚

    Tell your husband that you are going for some “Group Therapy?

    That is a good idea πŸ™‚

  8. Wow I really love your idea of hubby sitting!!! I think I will leave him in their care and switch off my cell phone for lasting shopping pleasure *already in dreamy shoppy land*

    That is the only solution! I have come to the conclusion after nearly 9 years of wedded bliss (?) that husband can only be happy in a shopping environment, if he is anywhere near electronic gadgets! Once we went to Harrods with another couple. Both the husbands rushed to the electronic section while we drooled away – everywhere else! Apparently they even looked at refrigerators!!!!!

    It fails my 36 grey cells put together to understand why my husband’s blood drains and he looks like a ghost the moment I say let’s go shopping!!! He doesn’t even shop for himself…all that burden sits upon my little shoulder…sobs! I am an expert in Men’s fashion by now from the basics to errr the accessories u can say πŸ˜‰

    That I don’t do.. I leave it to him πŸ™‚

    I have learnt to go shopping all by myself and enjoy each and every window, aisles and racks to my hearts content. I wish these shopping haters had heard about the old saying…STOP TO SMELL THE…err SHOPS!!

    LOL @ ‘.STOP TO SMELL THE…err SHOPS!!’

  9. This is another ghar ghar ki story i guess.
    my husband has this strange headache that starts creeping in after an exact time he has spent in a shop.. ‘ab jaldi karo, mera sir dird ho raha hai’ while i have recently developed a liking for window shopping.. I keep thinking I will go on my own and enjoy it one day..

    I know! It certainly is ghar ghar ki kahani πŸ™‚ I went out shopping yesterday with daughter and we had the bestest time! I prefer it anytime πŸ™‚

  10. I had 3 hours of shopping alone. Even the kids stayed home with dh. I loved it. My mug of chai, my comfortable Crocs slippers and my $50 budget. I had so much fun.. Only thing that would have made it better was to go with a friend.

    I did it too – day before yesterday! It was so much fun! I had daughter with me – and she is quite good with shopping. I take her stroller along, so if she does get tired – she just gets in and has a snooze πŸ™‚ I miss shopping in the US – So many deals.. and everything was so reasonable! Here its crazy!

    I dont do any shopping with the kids or spouse. If I need to buy something, ie a birthday present, I run in, grab XYZ and run out.

    I hate shopping with husband – daughter is fun to shop with πŸ™‚

  11. My husband is kind of opposite in that regard. He loves to come shopping with me(!!). Problem is that he and I differ in how much to spend on things, so do I want him to come shopping with me? πŸ™‚ He wants to look at value, where as I mostly disregard the price if it is something we need rightaway.

    Oh yes – that happens too!!! I so prefer to shop by myself – that way I can pick up whatever I want πŸ™‚

  12. thats because we value something called time !! Have you all ever heard of that ? T-I-M-E !!!

    Indeed! How come that all important time does not come into play when you go into an electronics store?????

    and we men, go to a shoe shop, see the first shoe, try them on and then bill it. You girls go to a shoe shop, try so many shoes, then ask the salesperson if they sell vegetables in the same shop and then argue with the salesperson as to why he isnt selling vegetables in the shoe shop and come out of the shop without buying anything !!

    Come on! The only people who will crib that a shoe shop does not sell vegetables are men! They will want everything in one place so that they can pick it up in 10 minutes πŸ™‚ We girls are more than happy to go to another shop πŸ™‚

    • ROFL where in the heavens you saw such a girl who shops for veggies in a shoe shop?? If my grey cells are intact I think you just got engaged no? hmmm…Ok I think in that case it is just the after effect of the engagement πŸ™‚

      • Yess… Vimmmuuu exactly…

        when they have no excuses left… when the sales man has provided everything and they even found their WANTED item… !!

        they still want to browse other shops…

        Who knows the other shop might have better than this shopp… you see,,,,

        How is this a silly reason, Hitchy?

        and hence find some silly reason… like these veggies in a shoe shop and walk off…

        totally agree..

        You guys are crazy!

    • And Vimmuuu dear while you value time you forget the value of Money. You guys don’t even bargain, just pick the 1st thing and bloat that you have saved time. huh!!!

    • For me, there is nothing like a list when it comes to shopping.. I believe in picking up if I like it – am sure we can find a use for it – Aha! Golden words πŸ˜‰ I luv u so much Smithu! So true .. if we like it we buy it!

      I once bought a pair of footwear just bcoz I liked it πŸ˜‰ n then went on to buy a saree to match them – makes perfect sense na πŸ˜›

      Waise, one blessing is that though Su hates shopping for himself, he is very patient while shopping with me πŸ˜‰ Thank God πŸ˜‰

      I never take him out while shopping for him bcoz he keeps cribbing the wardrobe is full of clothes, why do I need one or I have every possible thing and they can be used for years together and so on! I feel better shopping alone when it comes to buying stuff for him πŸ˜‰

      ROFL @ Hubby-sit Smithu – too gud πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

  13. Smitha, you got to understand there are distinct interests both men and women exhibit. Just that some are more oriented to few things. There is no big concern as far as I can look through it. Usually when we go for shopping, what you say is pretty much the case with most of us.

    πŸ™‚ Yes, have figured that out by now πŸ™‚

    That is when the life is more interesting.. if you see and discuss everything there in the mall, you would be left with very little to talk about at home! no? What ever happens, happens for good.. n enjoy it that way πŸ™‚

    I don’t think I ever have that problem – of having too little to talk about πŸ™‚

  14. sigh.. Shopping… I always need that extra pair of shoes/hand bag/dress πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    I am a total Shopoholic!! πŸ˜€
    And my husband avoids coming with me!! His shopping gets done in an hour…!! :mrgreen:
    I usually go alone or with my sister…

    I love window shopping as much as the actual shopping!!!

    And yea, I just don’t understand how a man can go ahead and buy a shirt without trying it on!!!
    Sometimes, my husband asks me to pick up a shirt for him, without him even coming to the store!!! 😯

    Can you believe that?! πŸ™„

  15. LOL @ Hubby Sit !!! πŸ˜€

    I prefer going alone or at most I as u said a girl friend, Men are a nuisance as far as shopping is concerned!!!

    Though I love window shopping but the day when I come back without buying a single thing I go into semi-depression!!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Jaao to kucch to le ke aao, hai ki nahin??? πŸ˜‰

  16. I guess you found the perfect solution-an electronic shop for hubby sitting.

    As a family, we only do grocery shopping together-the kids handle the trolleys, hubby manages the lists, and I pick up all kinds of stuff I might find a use for..

    For serious “shopping” I leave the kids and hubby with at home with a DVD.

  17. I am surprised..its same evrywhere..I felt as if I am writing my story:), looks like its true …womem are from Venus and men are from Mars..even if we go to a mall everybody has his/her own fixed counters where they go:)

    • And yeah, I have had this numerous occassions where my wife goes all around the shop finding new and better items and the sales person keeps looking at me as if to plead “For heavens sake, ask her to pick one and get out!” and I look at him, smile and shake my head to say “Sorry mate. I’m helpless!” πŸ™„

  18. Here i cannot say anything…I am like husband…Just cannot shop more than 10 minu!!!!

    And even my hubby is same…:-)

    So Aryan ends up wearing the very common and normal attire always..becuase we don’t dress up to the fashion i guess…need to learn the shopping skills now….
    Aryan’s Mom

  19. What is it about men and shopping? …i really don’t know.But i guess now a days things started changing…. at least the big crowd in shopping malls proves that.
    I prefer food court to shopping coz when ever i go for shopping alone (either window or necessary) ,i ended up in buying useless,ridiculous and overpriced stuffs.So i prefer to shop with my family or friends, at least that is safe for my wallet πŸ˜€

  20. Hmmmm….can understand your husband’s behaviour. I hate shopping. I undertake this exercise only once or twice a year….and it takes me a half-hour each time because I know exactly what I want….

    Cheers,

    Quirky Indian

  21. Aah the joys of retail therapy. Tell me about it. I am an absolute shopaholic. I will shop, whenever, wherever, whatever. There is no stopping me, and no telling me that something has no use, every damn thing can be made useful, so I just go ahead and get it! The husband, well he gets thoroughly bored, fortunately now I can hand over the son to him, so he has something to keep him busy while I browse. πŸ™‚ And yes, shopping with girlfriends is just absolutely the perfect thing to do….:)

  22. lol…i know what you mean about enjoying browing even in a grocery store :). i like doing that too…i can stare at a jar of pickle for a long time and decide whether i should go for this brand or that brand. I enjoy shopping alone. i find that more therapeutic and stress buster than shopping with someone else….most of all a husband (althought FAB is great with the suggestions and comments). But there are some theraphy best enjoyed alone!

  23. Shopping!!!
    it’s so much fun na?
    i love it.. even if i dont end up buying anything, just going around a mall looking at several designs is such a stress-buster..
    Men will never be able to enjoy such pleasure πŸ™‚

  24. My Hubby dear is quite different in this sense…He luvs shopping…even he doesnt have to buy something.he like roaming around in diff malls and keep checking new trends….

    But his interests are limited to clothes and food only…whenever i try to look into some home stuff like cutain, pillow , bedsheet..he is like ” We have enough..why u like to dump more :lol:…

  25. Even I love shopping anywhere except the electronics section where Hubby can spent any length of time….but Hubby also loves the clothing and the perfume section for men.

    and today me and kids will get to wander in the mall while he has some other job to do…[but I have become a smart shopper:)]

  26. I don’t like window shopping except for the kitchen items,i go crazy by seeing the crockery,and hubby is like how many u want for your kitchen.Almost every month i end up buying some crockery,i just love them.

    I do that too! I buy everything I like πŸ™‚ I seriously should stop shopping πŸ™‚ I love crockery and home decor things too!

    Liked the idea of hubby sitting,i wish i get something like that and leave pinkuda with hubby and take varunavi with me for shopping,she loves comming with me,we both just went yesterday to buy gift for her friend’s b’day.

    I can’t leave Poohi with husband – both of them will drive each other crazy πŸ™‚ She likes shopping too – so I have fun with her πŸ™‚

  27. ‘Next time, I want happy, fuss free shopping, with no questions like, β€˜Aur bhi kuch lena hai kya?’ or β€˜Aur kitna time lagega’ every 2 minutes( as if shopping is such a precise science that I should be able to predict!) , I am leaving my husband with the staff in the Bose outlet to β€˜hubby-sit’ while I enjoy shopping to the fullest

    Or better still go shopping with a girl friend. So much better!’

    ‘HUBBY SIT” nice word, Smitha! Happy shopping!

  28. of course there are men who love to shop other than electronics. my husband is one of them. he can see a dress in the store on his way to work and call up and tell me ..i just have to tell him , ” please don’t buy”. if he does not catch me on the phone, he will make sure i go and find out — now that is a nuisance too. don’t you think ?

  29. Smithu….

    che! me no like shopping either… except for books, i don’t spend time in stores….

    my gal friends don’t even take me along, in fact they pack me off if i am there…
    whenever they try something and ask for opinion, i tell them ,”SOOPER! it was made for u!!! its perfect … just get it now! and let’s go eat something”

    πŸ˜†

    book shopping, now THAT is therapy! i can live in a book store…. and read alllll day long!!! and see all books….
    and when there is a book sale… BF keeps sedative at hand…. i am uncontrollable! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    ROFL @ Hubby-sitting! tee hee πŸ˜€

  30. If you enjoy spending hours checking trying dreaming and again doing all these again and again and by doing so if you get happiness,do it always
    But spare that man who will go impatient seeing this lengthy process
    take a girl friend with you for shopping

  31. Nice to find a post where I can disagree with you a little! πŸ™‚ Well, not exactly disagree, not that’s not the right word. I mean I am a little different! Think more like the guys think when it comes to shopping. I liked to decide what to buy, and head straight for it! My husband is the same. I don’t know why I get so impatient with window shopping, I wish I wasn’t like that. I mean, it means that when I go out with my friends I tend to hurry them up, always urging them to stop and have coffee somewhere, or hang out near the sea, go for a movie or just chat or something! And if I want to buy something, I do it so fast that it has my friends blinking! πŸ™‚

  32. you should give your husband the entire series of Sophie Kinsella’s books… the entire series of ‘Shopaholic’… then he will understand what we women feel… sometimes i feel like going on a rampage when a guy tells me not to shop…i mean they don’t understand that shopping is therapy…which sadly only their wallets can provide…and nothing else about them πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚

    If I got him to read that – he will probably want me to go and shop – in the relief that atleast I am not as bad as Becky πŸ™‚ I should really do that πŸ™‚

    Shopping is total therapy πŸ™‚ Even window shopping makes me happier πŸ™‚

  33. I actually like shopping, but cant spend hours in a store. You go, you select something, you buy it, and get out.

    But with the ladies, this is what happens. You go, you select something (you actually like it), but then you try to see if there is something you like better, you find it, but then you go to a different store/section to see what they have. Then repeat the entire exercise. My feet are sore, and the head hurts by the time the shopping ‘expedition’ is over πŸ˜‰

  34. “β€˜Aur bhi kuch lena hai kya?’ or β€˜Aur kitna time lagega’ every 2 minutes”..these lines are said verbatim by my husband too..seriously how are we to know??

    R insists I make a list of what-to-buy before leaving for shopping,and then go to that exact shop and then the exact counter where the things will be available…what-to-buy list is understandable but how do you know for sure which is the right shop unless we check out at least 10?? πŸ˜›
    Lets not get started over the scenario when it involves shopping for our daughters,alle?? πŸ˜€

  35. Well, I used to go to a shop, look at four shirts and select one. Then, I was sent along with my friend. We saw two shirts, and selected one! But these days I spend more time.,.. I see at least six to eight shirts!!

    Destination Infinity

  36. I’m lucky in this respect, my hubby is a bigger shop-aholic than I am.

    But yeah, nothing wrong in shopping when its raining outside. Thats how we spend most of our weekends in Singapore- shopping at malls.

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