Undomestic (un)goddess?

Deepa had tagged me quite a while back to list out my ‘domestic horrors’. Β Well, that should not be very difficult for me, should it? That’s what I do πŸ™‚

The only tough thing, would be , to ‘choose’ what to list out here.. I do have a bunch to choose from, you know πŸ™‚ What can I say, domesticity and me were(are) poles apart. The only reason, I think I am enjoying being an SAHM is thanks to my busy blogging life πŸ™‚

1. I actually started to cook by myself around the time that I started work.. Most of it was restricted to Maggi πŸ™‚ One time, a bunch of us decided to ‘cook’ properly. We put rice and dal into separate containers in the pressure cooker and waited. After a couple of whistles – according to one of us- we opened it , only to find that the rice had overflowed all over and it was a right mess! That was the end of our ‘proper’ cooking πŸ™‚

2. The only thing I could profess to cook reasonably well was aloo paranthas.. I love them and was quite good at them. So the first time, that I was in the US, I decided to treat my friends to aloo paranthas.. Well, I had no idea that the smoke alarm could go off, with all that cooking in oil and when it went off.. I almost jumped out of my skin! I was not sure if the police had landed on my house or what? Thankfully, one of us had an idea and managed to calm down the smoke alarm with a wet towel.. That was actually quite scary – for me – at that time πŸ™‚

3. Well, they do say that when you get really competent at something – you will be able to repeat your successes without much ado.. Well, it is quite clear that I have not reached that level of success in cooking, at least. I am someone who can mess up even the simplest dal – and not have a clue as to what went wrong! The other day, we had some friends over for dinner and I made my tried and tested Dum aloo and Baingan ka bharta – only to realise that both turned out totally non tasty! And I have no idea what went wrong! Thankfully, we had some delicious starters Β – store bought and delicious cake – made by yours truly as well as some homemade strawberry ice cream, to save the day. Needless to say the leftovers had to be thrown in the garbage – it was salvageable 😦

4. We have had a lot of unpalatable meals that have been turned out by me. But the one which took the cake was a meal by our cooks – we had decided to do ‘core competency outsourcing’ Β as cooking was not the ‘core competency ‘ of either of us πŸ™‚ . In the stream of cooks that we had, one time, we had a couple coming to cook for us. The lady used to do most of the cooking and her husband would give her company. She was a vegetarian but he told us that he could make a wonderful egg curry. Β And since it had been some time since we had it, we asled him to make it for us. Normally, I tell them how I want things cooked. Most of the cooks we had were Gujaratis and cooking without sugar was anthema for them. While I cannot stand sugar in savory dishes.. So I used to give them strict instructions as to how I like things cooked. Now, this time, he was totally insistent that he knew how to make it -‘ just let me do it – you will love it, everybody loves my egg curry’ sort of thing.. So I let it be. We got home that evening – starving, only to open the dish and almost pass out.. In the name of egg curry was a gooey mass with some signs of onions and tomatoes ! He had broken the eggs – 6 eggs into the onion and tomato gravy Β – and it looked horrible !!! That was the most horrible disastrous food that I had even seen! He surpassed even me in terms of cooking fiascos!! We did a takeaway that night.

5. Β Another time, another maid, another disaster. Now, no matter how bad I am at cooking, I am quite paraniod about making sure that all the burners and hotplates are turned off. One time,on my way back home, with daughter, as I entered the corridor leading to my flat, Β I could hear the fire alarm ringing away.. I remember thinking – oh looks like somebody’s left something on! The fire alarm in our apartments where quite sensitive – it used to go off when I iron clothes! And as I entered into the flat – I was greeted with thick black fumes! I almost had a heart attack!. Here I was with my 9 month old daughter and the house is all black! Husband was out of country and for a minute I did not know what to do. I somehow managed to leave the door open, and ran inside to check it out. My cook had left the hotplate on with the pressure cooker on it. The pressure cooker’s safety valve had gone off and the contents where charred black! Thank fully as we did not have a gas burner – nothing was on fire. The black smoke was coming from the pressure cooker! I was so so angry with my cook! That was the last time she worked for us! It was just pure luck that the only thing damaged was the pressure cooker!

Listing down domestic disasters just reminds me that I have to lot of work pending – in the ‘ domestic area’, so I’m off to do it now. I am not tagging anybody – mainly because I am too lazy to get all the links and put it here.. So consider yourselves tagged πŸ™‚ All of you πŸ™‚

46 thoughts on “Undomestic (un)goddess?

    • no cheating,i just came to check ur previous post and saw this post πŸ™‚

      Yes, – so its double celebration πŸ™‚

  1. Nice tag smitha πŸ™‚

    The only thing I could profess to cook reasonably well was aloo paranthas”– lol even i love parathas and i always experiment with that and it comes out nicely πŸ™‚
    You too πŸ™‚ I love Aloo parathas – and they normally come out okay πŸ™‚

    “I made my tried and tested Dum aloo and Baingan ka bharta – only to realise that both turned out totally non tasty! And I have no idea what went wrong”— usually it happens that we cook so well but when we want to treat the guest something goes wrong,it happens to me always 😦

    I had a disaster this morning,i have put tea on the stove and i was watching cartoon with my kids and i didnt realise this until the vessel turned into red colour,i was shocked to see something burning on the stove,i didnt get the burning smell,now it is in the dust bin.This is just one incident πŸ™‚
    That has not happened to me – yet πŸ™‚ I make even tea in the micro – lazy me πŸ™‚

    And you are tagged – so please , please do this tag πŸ™‚

  2. Hey i am enjoying this,i can see my comment on ur blog in my wp dashboard,it is really nice πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    I know!! I love the whole feel of WP πŸ™‚ It is much better than blogger πŸ™‚ Any doubts that I had have disappeared now πŸ™‚

    Will do the tag and this will be my 3rd tag which is pending

    Cool πŸ™‚

  3. ROFL πŸ™‚ …seems U are quite adventurous.I still remember how my cousin sister learned to prepare chicken curry and fish curry.like whenever her husband was out of station ,she used try it out…most of the time(initially) her experiments ended up in disaster.Anyways she is a expert in cooking now πŸ˜› . anyways we r privileged,because we don’t have to try out all this πŸ˜› …

    Adventurous? Necessity – more often than not πŸ™‚ We could not survive on eating out the whole time πŸ™‚

    What do you mean – ‘nyways we r privileged,because we don’t have to try out all this’ !!! You do realise that you are tagged – anybody who comments here is tagged πŸ™‚ So go do some experiments and write about it in your tag πŸ™‚

    • @ eating out …very true
      yeahh just now i recalled one incident,i guess that time i was in 8th standard,me and my little sister planned to surprise my mom by preparing banana fry for her birthday πŸ™‚ , when she was out.But it ended up in burning my fingers(by mistake hot oil fall on my fingers,i still don’t know how) and almost for 3 weeks i was going to hospital to get it dressed up :(.

      Banana fry? when you guys were so young? That is so dangerous! I am still very very very careful if I fry – and I fry very very rarely..

      • yeahh I know 😦 …..by gods grace nothing serious happened to me πŸ™‚ …. anyways after that incident i never tried to fry anything in my life πŸ™‚

        I can imagine!

        • @ fire alarm…I can imagine how u felt at that moment πŸ™‚ ,that to in a alien country

          It was quite scary – for the first time πŸ™‚

    • lol.. it was fun reading about those incidents.
      broken eggs and its still called egg curry? For me the food i eat should first look good and then i proceed to at least taste it in the first place..

      Oh it looked horrible! Can’t imagine what he was thinking when he made it – and wasted 6 eggs too!

      lol at ur fire alarm rings even when u iron the clothes

      Yes, in the place we used to live earlier – it was a big pain!

  4. I love aloo paranthaas … πŸ˜€ … I mean I love to eat them and not to cook them πŸ˜›

    The only thing I could cook is Maggi …. I was forced to learn this by an acute hunger attack that originated one night back at hostel … πŸ˜‰

    πŸ™‚ I was like that too – ‘only thing I could cook is Maggi’ πŸ™‚ Have become better now – but I still end up creating disasters once in a while πŸ™‚

  5. LOL!!

    My, quite a list!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    πŸ˜† I can go on and on and on πŸ™‚ I quite accomplished in the domestic disaster zone πŸ™‚

    • I don’t want to brag, but, my kitchen disasters are not so serious at all! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›
      Maybe, burning milk or something like that!!! πŸ˜€
      Most of them are “small incidents”!!!
      I make sure that the spices never ever get mixed up by keeping them in different jars, all labelled!!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

      Pixie you are lucky – or you are a genius πŸ™‚ I have thankfully never mixed up spices – I keep them labelled too πŸ™‚ Thank goodness for that πŸ™‚

  6. The one thing that everyone reading this post would have learnt is that should they land up in your house for a meal, they should innocently pretend that they would love to have Aloo Parathas with that it’s-been-so-long excuse!

    πŸ˜† That and that its probably better to come to my place for dessert after having dinner at some place else πŸ™‚

    You know if you don’t know what your next dish is going to taste like, you will never get bored of eating what you cook!

    Yes – everyday is an adventure πŸ™‚

    • LOL!!Yes Vinod Sir!that’s the exact excuse I am going to give πŸ˜€

      Yes, yes – come over – give any excuse that pleases you πŸ™‚ just come over πŸ™‚

  7. Domestic disasters…does that mean only cooking ??? πŸ˜‰ Cmon, we need to know what disasters you did while cleaning the home, or getting the clothes washed, etc. !!! πŸ™‚

    Oh oh!!! I missed listing out so many!!!! Now that you remind me – I once tossed husband’s expensive designer trousers – part of a suit which we bought thanks to the huge discount that had been going on, into the washing machine – without checking the washing instructions 😦 Turns out – it was dry clean only and it came out shrunk and miserable 😦 All that discount that we got went for a toss as he had to go an buy the trousers again – full price 😦

    and with regard to cooking, we would want your hubby dear to write a post on ‘ MY WIFES DOMESTIC DISASTERS” . After all, isnt he your guinea pig ?? πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Yeah – that will be certainly be more interesting than this post πŸ™‚

    • Smtha chechi, we r waiting πŸ˜€ …. ask him write fast πŸ˜€

      Now that you’ve called me chechi – no post!!!! Here I am pretending to be young and you are blowing away my pretense !!!!!

      • hehehhe πŸ˜€ …nono i\’m trying to give some respect to U
        @ pretend ..no probs …i will imagine U r just 2 months ,no 2 hours elder 2 me(i\’m a small kutty only…so chill πŸ™‚ )
        so now \’chechi\’ problem is solved right πŸ™‚ …k then come fast with the post πŸ˜€

        πŸ˜† That post might never come.. Husband is not too keen on writing πŸ™‚ Lucky me πŸ™‚

    • gosh..,you could have go out and buy a new one of same kind(obliviously with out his knowledge πŸ™‚ )…. Recently one of my close friend did the same,when she had a similar experience..

      πŸ˜† I did not even think of that actually πŸ™‚ Next time πŸ™‚

  8. At least somebody else is as ‘competent’ as me in the domestic arena…

    Yes Bones – I am sure I could give you competition in the ‘competency’ part πŸ™‚ I am horrible in the domestic arena πŸ™‚

    I remember I was baking a cake for the first time…Midway, I decided to take a look and stuck my head inside the oven (one of those big cooking range ovens)…When I took my head out, I could smell something burning – the smell was unusual…I looked around but couldn’t see anything…Then I saw brown hair falling – I realized I had singed my hair in the front by sticking my head inside the oven!

    Oh goodness!!!! I have never done that πŸ™‚ Have burned my hands several times handling the oven though – thanks to my clumsiness πŸ™‚

  9. Now that I have laughed after reading the post and the comments πŸ˜€
    I will comment araam se πŸ˜€

    The only tough thing, would be , to β€˜choose’ what to list out here
    πŸ˜†
    Smitha you are too cute πŸ˜€ and you say it all with a straight face πŸ˜€

    I am so bad – that I have quite accepted it by now πŸ™‚

    You know what? Maggi should seriously rename their product πŸ˜€
    They should call it zindagi bachao or lifesaver or eat this so you dont die or something πŸ˜€
    coz all of us have Maggi stories to share πŸ˜€
    I know! Even now – we always have stock of Maggi – that is one thing husband claims he makes better than I do πŸ™‚

    smoke alarms are THAT sensitive?they go off even when one irons? πŸ™„
    too much protection ho gayi πŸ˜€
    I know! It used to be such a pain! One time it set off while Poohi was sleeping and she was 2 months old and I had just gotten her to sleep!!! Thankfully this house has a less sensitive alarm πŸ™‚

    the egg curry doesnt seem too good the way you ave described it ….did HE like it? πŸ˜€

    I have no idea – I was so wild that I just told him never ever to even think of making us egg curry.. πŸ™‚

    the fifth one sounds dangerous 😦
    must have been horrifying..and with a small baby?
    (((hugs)))
    alls well πŸ™‚
    It was dangerous – It was just luck that I got back before anything worse could happen..

    I Think I will be the queen of domestic disasters when I actually start cooking something πŸ˜‰

    The kitchen’s my waterloo πŸ˜€
    You should start cooking and do this tag πŸ™‚

  10. Smitha, After reading this post I don’t care about the words β€˜disaster’..all I can think about is Rice mixed with dal, Aloo paratha, Dum aloo and Baingan ka bharta, some Egg dish. Drooooooooooooooooooool.

    My mind doesn’t work when I here food.

    Mine neither πŸ™‚ I love food but it is so sad when you expect something to be tasty and it turns out the opposite 😦

  11. Smi, I can do the tag here. I only knew about 3 colors of powder used in cooking. Red, Yellow, brown (chilli, turmeric, coriander). Every curry Veg or Non-veg I made had only these 3 + some salt and water.

    So you started off like OG πŸ™‚ I used to have every kind of masala available and husband used to ask me to put a little of them all πŸ™‚ Still says that πŸ™‚

    When I think about it I puke. I was a horrible cook. I started making chapatis after coming to this house and the reason is we don’t have anything Indian nearby. Recently though we found a Punjabi caterer. From a Dud in cooking, I have come a long long way and an expert in cooking all kinds of food. *Self praising ends*

    πŸ˜† ‘ *Self praising ends*’ I wish I could say that πŸ™‚ Though I can make decent food – edible, that is πŸ™‚ Even that is not repeatable, sadly πŸ™‚ I do make good cakes though πŸ™‚

  12. I am still smiling, smiley Smitha! It was fun reading your ‘cooking disasters’! The egg curry episode is the funniest!

    Oh the egg curry was such a disaster – went straight into the garbage 😦

    I think everyone starts – learns – cooking with ‘maggi noodles’! My children also started with maggi and then dosa! Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, in my time, i.e. 35 years back, when I started cooking, maggi was not there to help me! I was good at making plain chapaathis with dhal…the dhal was just OK with pickle!

    Wow! I can’t imagine life without Maggi πŸ™‚ Even today – we keep stock. We don’t get Atta noodles – which does not have MSG either – here in Leeds – so we ask friends from London to bring it πŸ™‚

    It must have been very scary, seeing smoke inside the house, when you opened the door. You will never forget it. How many days did you take for touching the cooker again?!!
    Oh it was scary! More so coz daughter was with me too.. That cooker was all spoilt.. It was a pressure pan – so I still use the base .. but not as a cooker 😦 Had to go the very next weekend and replace it..

    Sraboneyghose’s experience is the scariest one. Foof, I can’t imagine it – burnt hair falling down.
    I know! Very scary!

    I too like aloo paratha with pickle and am good at making it NOW!
    I love it too – and can make it quite decently πŸ™‚ Though I make it with very very little oil πŸ™‚

    Hilarious post, Smitha!

    Thank you πŸ™‚

  13. After my student days, I was so tired of eating out that I started cooking….not too badly either. πŸ™‚

    Wow πŸ™‚ I, even today, prefer not to cook – if I can avoid it πŸ™‚

    @Bones: You actually stuck your head in a hot oven? I am so glad nothing worse happened. And I’m sorry, but I had to laugh at the image of your head in the oven!

    Cheers,

    Quirky Indian

  14. thats some list,smitha!!
    i dont hv too many cooking disasters…that doesnt mean im a great cook… i just dont char food or do anything as drastic as that…but it doesnt taste great either!

    πŸ™‚ I am not a great cook and manage a lot of disasters 😦 My daughter is surely going to grow up wishing that she had a Domestic Goddess for a mother instead πŸ™‚

  15. Smitha, one good thing resulted from your ‘not so good’ cooking experiences, and that is this post!

    Nicely written tag. πŸ™‚

    That is the bright side, I guess πŸ™‚

  16. Totally enjoyed reading you,Smitha. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has cooking fiascos!

    Oh you certainly have me for company πŸ™‚
    I had blast laughing at your aloo-paratha story. I love aloo parathas though and that is something even I can claim I cook well.

    I love them too πŸ™‚ Though I rarely have them now.. I just have to think aloo-parathas to put on weight πŸ™‚

    “In the name of egg curry was a gooey mass with some signs of onions and tomatoes ! He had broken the eggs – 6 eggs into the onion and tomatoes”…..EEEWWWWW! Kudos to you to have survived that sight πŸ™‚

    Oh!! It was horrible.. and made worse by the fact that we were really hungry and looking forward to demolishing it 😦

  17. hey smitha,

    thanks for doing the tag………and yes, some accomplishment that!!! πŸ™‚

    πŸ™‚ Thanks for tagging me πŸ™‚ I had a great time doing it πŸ™‚

    1. hehe, i used to know only to cook maggi, boil milk and make chapatis prior to my wedding…..never used to know the diff b/w chana dal and toor dhaal also…..:lol:

    Oh me too!! I did not even know how to make chapatis – I could make parathas though – funnily enough πŸ™‚

    2. ooohh, aloo parathas and smoke alarms…wow, do you still make parathas after that incident?? πŸ˜‰

    I still do – with very very little oil – but that has more to do with my weight than the smoke alarm, to be honest πŸ™‚

    3. ohh, this one was sad, really….i too hate it when our specialty dishes sometimes taste like rot, leaving you to wonder WTH……..

    I know!! And its especially bad when you have guests over..

    4. oh my god, 6 eggs into tomato-onion gravy? ye, ye, i second deeps\’ comment on that, how did you survive it??

    By throwing it out – straight away πŸ™‚
    5. too bad that!!

    I know – it was scary.. very scary..

    smitha, this tag was surely better than mine….guess most of us are on the same boat!!! that reminds me of another domestic minor disaster that happened yesterday..i soaked my son\’s new brown shirt along with some other clothes in a bucket of water, one of the colours od the clothes ran into the really nice and expensive shirt and the light brown shirt has uggggllly patches of blue on it…….it looks like a rag now……….i am shameless really!!! πŸ˜›

    Oh oh – I have done that so many times.. One time I managed to toss in a very delicate stole..it was by mistake – I would normally get it dry cleaned – and it came back looking like a rag 😦

  18. hehehehehehehehehehehhehehehhehehehe πŸ˜›
    Hail Smithus!!!!!!

    your cooking experiements are much worse than mine πŸ˜› LOL… I liked the egg curry fiasco the best πŸ˜›

    Oh yes – and these are not exhaustive either πŸ™‚ The egg curry was such a tragedy.. made worse by our hunger and expectations πŸ™‚

    The first time I was here in america in 2007, in our hotel, 4 guys, we decided to cook. about 20 mins into the cooking process, there was a lot of smoke and room alarm got triggered. So to remove all smoke, we opened the doors and then the Corridor alarms got triggered πŸ˜› hahahahaha
    thankfully the firedepartment did not come that day as we called reception and adjusted things : PLOL

    ROFL πŸ™‚ Most of us do seem to have the fire alarm experience πŸ™‚ Now I open every window possible – even in winters to avoid it πŸ™‚

  19. your story is nothing new. most of the students who go abroad to study and live on their own away from their moms face simliar hilarious incidences.
    But I m sure in no time you wil also be a confirmed cook meting out delicious recipies.

    Welcome here, Anju πŸ™‚ Sadly, I have lost all hope of that happening πŸ™‚

  20. Such an honest post. You told us everything :), But only cooking disaters, kuch aur bhi batao, I have couple of them too and the fire alarm thing has happened to me 2-3 times, later i used to take the smoke alarm out, while making parathas and pooris, i know not good, but better than running with a towel and making that moster Shaanth…

    πŸ™‚ I can imagine! The fire alarm is quite a common thing.. but it did scare me the first time it happened πŸ™‚

  21. LOL! LOL! Poor alarms!

    I have charred a lot of things in my short life as of now starting from milk to food! Once I was making “yam” curry.. the fried variety.. one that was my current fav.. since sis n dad were out of town for many days… it was one of my treats to myself… since I normally dont make it coz of the “oil content”.. anyhow.. I went to sleep.. I woke up because one of my neighbour tried to wake me up by calling out to me.. but I didnt wake up.. so she threw a small stone from the open window.. I woke up with a start only to see loads of smoke coming from kitchen! Only to see my fav curry charred not just black.. but turning to ashes 😐 😐

    OH wow!! Your fav curry turning into ashes πŸ™‚ Thank god your neighbour noticed! I can’t imagine what would have happened otherwise! Did you not even smell anything ? I have a super sensitive nose – so I smell burning very quickly.. So that hardly happens to me.. One thing I used to hate was milk overflowing while boiling it on the electric hob.. It used to smell horrible and I had to wait till it cooled down completely before cleaning – so it would become all hard and baked on:( I hated it so much that now I make tea in the microwave πŸ™‚

  22. LOL Smitha… πŸ˜†

    actually learning coking is a fun and your cook too making fun is very much laughable πŸ™‚
    Anyway I never tried cooking.. so will have lot when I start cooking πŸ˜€

    Yes – start cooking and then do this tag πŸ™‚

  23. Haha! The last one was scary. Our fire alarm went off so many times that I finally took it off from the wall! πŸ™‚ And once, even after taking it off, it went off in the cupboard! It was spooky, like someones chopped of moving hand! πŸ˜†

    You too πŸ™‚ I have never taken off the fire alarm.. I remember it driving me nuts when the battery went low once – when I was in the US.. Then I got so used to it’s constant chirping that I never bothered to replace the battery until one time I was working from home and some of my clients heard it over the conf call and made me change it πŸ™‚

  24. Good that none of these caused any serious damage..

    Thank god for that πŸ™‚

    Me too not much into cooking.. but can manage decent meals.. would happily not cook if given a choice.. πŸ˜€

    Oh me too πŸ™‚

    and i don’t take the guarentee for good taste all the time.. πŸ˜‰

    Exactly the same here πŸ™‚

    but i don’t remember any such disasters.. just minor burns here & there..

    your post is hilarious… πŸ˜€

    Thank you πŸ™‚

  25. Delicious cake and homemade strawberry ice cream – what else do u need? U r a gr8 cook. Am cmg over for aloo paratha+cake+IC+ur daughter [meet her I mean] πŸ˜‰

    Oh do come over πŸ™‚ Delighted πŸ™‚ Can’t promise you great food – but good cake and ice cream – sure πŸ™‚

    The alarm things sound crazy n scary.

    And abt the egg curry, wonder who those ppl are who told him it tasted gr8 πŸ˜›
    I know!! I can’t imagine anybody liking it.. Unless they were scared to tell him the truth for some reason.. or he was just making it up πŸ™‚

  26. From the earlier posts it doesn’t look like you would have gone through such disasters :P, those breads looked yummy to me..i liked the last line of egg curry story πŸ˜€

    Oh yes – I have πŸ™‚ Baking is one area where I have been lucky – so far πŸ™‚

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